Where does this start making sense?

Here’s the sequence of events:

1. In the late 80’s a doctor donated sperm (we shall call him Doctor Sperm Donor because it amuses me) to a lesbian couple who wanted to have children. He made an agreement that he would have no rights or claims to the child, but then allowed his name to be listed as the father on the birth certificate.
2. For a number of years after the child was born, Doctor Sperm Donor had regular contact with the child, gave him gifts, and sent cards that he signed “Dad.”
3. The lesbian couple and the child moved to Oregon in 93.
4. Since ‘93 the doctor has seen the child once (in 2004) and spoken to him by phone just seven times.
5. For some reason--not explained in the story--the mother sued for child support.
6. For some reason--mostly lost to me--he has been found to suddenly have an obligation to financially support the 18 year old boy who is heading off to school.

Some other little tidbits of information: the agreement that he would have neither rights nor responsibilities in reference to the child was an oral agreement. Having a written agreement might not have saved him, though, apparently because of the gifts of money, cards, and the use of the terms “Dad” and “Daddy” nearly 14 years ago. The court also denied a requested paternity test on the grounds that such a test might psychologically damage the child.

I could understand a time limit on challenging paternity, but in a case like this it seems that it would be important in a newly established responsibility for the boy’s welfare. For that matter, it doesn’t sound like a time limit was a concern. I also have to wonder why the boy’s moms would oppose a test unless there was some doubt about paternity.

With both mothers being doctors, I also wonder what great need they have for their old friend’s money. Regardless of the legal questions, it seems awfully bad form for the lesbian couple to have reneged on their previous agreement. It’s a money-grubbing maneuver and a tacit admission of bad parenting: obviously, they failed in some way to provide for their son’s future and are now leaning on Doctor Sperm Donor to make up the gap.

I don’t know them, but I find their behavior despicable. Does it seem like I’m personalizing it a bit? Perhaps. Read the reason after the jump.

Read the Rest...