During a speech to the National Rifle Association convention in Louisville, Kentucky Friday, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee joked to the audience that an offstage noise was Barack Obama avoiding gunfire.

“That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he’s getting ready to speak,” Huckabee said. “Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor.”

Pointless, not funny, and just another moment revealing him to be a jerk. It is shocking that he seems to believe that things like this and his very public decision to, ahem, not make Mitt Romney’s religion an issue in the election are entirely reasonable coming from a man who wanted to win the White House.

Again I say: if McCain is silly enough to choose Huckabee as his running mate, I’ll be voting for someone else.

Which will irritate me greatly.

Loved it.

Then the moment was ruined by David Archuleta’s predictably weepy homecoming. When he said that the screaming throngs really made it all worth it, I found myself wondering what precisely he was talking about? Was it the sacrifice of becoming famous, the opportunity to make millions, or the chance to live his (or his dad’s) dreams that was particularly painful for him? Or did I miss something?

Stop crying, kid. Stand up, smile, and stop acting like such an unlikable twerp.

Just sayin’.

At least Syesha comports herself with some level of dignity. Where Archuleta gets on my nerves, Syesha charms. Except for the crying. Which, why the hell is there so much crying on this show?

I didn’t realize that David Cook was an accidental contestant--and, yes, I think that does explain much about his public persona. I personally like that he seems to take the whole experience in stride. Not arrogant at all, but he seems comfortable with himself. I like this guy.

Anyway, his crying moment was minimal. I approve of minimal crying.

Spoiler Below the Line:

While you’re here, check out these fine, Zomby-approved posts.

First, find out about the “only known cure for the fetid taste a Mike Huckabee speech leaves in one’s mouth”--because you might just need a taste of the medicine. Besides which, if you aren’t interested in that in specific, there is always the sheer spectacle of a conservative writer’s undercover life as a metal militiaman.

Second (and third, for that matter), Wheels links to a piece of open source software that looks like more fun than getting ripped with Steve Green in Tijuana. Okay, maybe not that much fun, but certainly with less risk of eternal damnation. And if that doesn’t work for you and you’ve served any time in the military, then the military language conversion chart will be worth a chuckle. Unless you’re Air Force, in which case you might want to pretend that we didn’t even have this little conversation.

Fourthly, sympathy goes out to Andy. Although, no, he still isn’t blogging. That was just a momentary relapse. So there.

Fifthly, you know you haven’t had enough American Idol yet. Go ahead. Click it. Alternately, just drop by and show some love to one of the most famous mommy bloggers of our time, and a registered attendee of Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash 8.0.

Sixthly and Lastly (othewise known as Seventhly), Ted Bronson makes the case for a trade agreement with Columbia. I’ve been thinking of writing a similar post, but he said everything that I wanted to and he said it better. After reading that, read Hazel’s quick response to another bit of nannystate madness. The folks at TheLineIsHere.org should be one of your daily reads (if they aren’t already).

More details will follow (with the potential for some pretty fun stuff thrown into the mix).

You can RSVP on this post if you have an aversion to Flash based sites or giving your information to a third party to help us coordinate the events (and no one will think less of you). However...

The site that will keep track of this and the big event at the end of the DNC will also be a fun tool for keeping Rocky Mountain Bloggers in touch with each other. We’ll use it to send invitations, updates, and news, make more announcements, and generally bug each other about things like when we think Andy will return to blogging. (Just kidding, Andy.) A number of people have requested that we send out email notifications when the Bashes are coming up--our group on ViewMyLife.com will allow us to take that step, and I think it will really raise the level of our inebriation professionalism.

No pressure, though. Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, complaints, and requests here--and I’ll keep track of the most important bits both here and on ViewMyLife.com.

For those wanting to take part, here are the instructions:

Steps to becoming a better person:

1. Sign-up on ViewMyLife.com. (Free and easy. Which works well for me.)
2. From the drop-down menu in the upper left corner (the blue, circle, logo thing), choose Groups.
3. Search for Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash and request to join the group. I’ll be approving people for now, although both Shannon and Andy will be taking administrative rolls as well.
4. Update your contact information in ViewMyLife, so we can more easily bug you when the next Bash is coming up.

One of the reasons we chose to work with the ViewMyLife.com folks when they approached Andy was that they were a Colorado company and we like to support home-town geeks. The other reason was quite simply that they seemed like good people--and they’re devoted to the idea of giving back to the community. In the next few days I’ll be posting information about their charitable work. You’ll want to pay attention in particular if you’re personally involved with a charity.

Lastly--and before we start in on the linkfest of RSVPs--please help us spread the word. We would like to bring a lot of new faces around this time and I know that many of you are far nicer, more charismatic, and better known than I am. Which means you have a better chance of bringing in some new folks to buy me shots.

And you know how much I appreciate the shots.

Er, wait. Sorry. Wrong competition.

Anyway, David Archuleta singing Billy Joel’s “And So it Goes” is inspired. Truly. The slow, soulful song has a grand sweep that fits boy wonder’s irritating personality about perfectly. He can’t bring believability to the song--he isn’t old enough or straight enough to make a song about love and vulnerability believable. Still, his voice is in fine form.

Randy loved it. Paula loved it. Simon thinks it was good--although predictable and not quite great.

Syesha will be singing “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys--a song that I am completely unfamiliar with--isn’t quite as good. Or, at least, I can’t get myself past my apathy to think of anything witty enough to say about the mediocrity on display. Sorry about that. She’s not bad, but there seems to be nothing of her in anything she does and I can’t quite explain what I mean. Sorry again.

Girl thinks that Syesha just doesn’t sound good enough to compare with Alicia Keys and that she doesn’t do anything in her own style.

Randy loved it. I say that a lot, don’t I? Paula fights for grrrl power. Simon thought she did it well but wishes that she didn’t sound quite so much like the original. Everyone agrees that she’s a hotty. Which is undeniably true.

I’m not sure I understand Simon’s pick for David Cook. “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” doesn’t seem to be a good fit. Perhaps Simon hates David Cook secretly.

In the actual performance, it’s better than I thought it would be. He can do slow and sincere pretty well and his voice is pretty damned good. In fact, I was big time wrong. That actually worked pretty well--not only did he give a good performance of a tough song that wasn’t an obvious fit, but he’s far more believable singing about love than boy wonder.

Randy loved it but wishes Simon had picked a rocker. Paula needs her meds because she actually seemed to make sense for a moment. Waitress! Simon claims victory. I agree.

Round 2

David A. sometimes seems as lost as Paula. Singing Chris Brown’s upbeat “With You”, he’s making a play for pop idoldom. Mostly he just looks awkward in the dancing and lost in the singing. Talk about a believability deficit.

Randy agrees with me. Paula is Archuleta’s number one fan. Simon says it was a little “like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger.” Heheh. Funny. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, though. He’s got the deluded fan base of gazillions of young women with more doe eyed stupidity than good musical taste.

I’m looking forward to Syesha singing “Fever.” Hubba hubba. And if everyone thought that she looked good in this last dress, well…

She does it well, but, ultimately, she brings absolutely nothing new to the song. It sounds like it’s sounded hundreds of other times. Not that I’m complaining loudly--because that dress gets my vote every time. Girl looked at me with crankiness in her eyes when I complimented the dress, though, so I think I’m going to be leave that subject alone for a while…

Randy thought it was an “interesting” song choice (he didn’t mean it in the nicest possible way), but that she sang it well. Paula, once she gets past the obligatory compliments for the beauty and wonder of yet another singer, agrees with Randy. Simon agrees, too. Only more so.

So, David Cook is playing guitar and singing the Switchfoot single “Dare You to Move"--I think he’s trying to cement his rocking status. For me, it’s a bit uneven with a meandering, bland intro and a shouty ending, none of which seem particularly connected. Not hugely bad, but disappointing after that first song. Definitely disappointing.

Randy didn’t think it was so hot, Paula agreed, Simon agreed, too. Weird.

Round 3

Elfin Boy sings Fogelberg’s “Longer.” God, I hate the song in the original form, I hate it more when this boy is singing it. Watching him sing it is almost painful, I personally don’t like the sound of his voice, and I think it was a bad song choice.

Randy agrees a bit. Paula. Did she say something? Simon wasn’t so hot on it. Read the first comment from Carin for a great view on this one. Ouch.

Syesha and I’m pretty much done with her. Bored. Make her stop.

I think Randy feels the same. The audience boos loudly. Paula reminds us that the song was from the Happy Feet soundtrack. Which, yeah, the boredom is growing. Simon thinks it was better than song 2 (girl agrees), but that it wasn’t what she needed to stay in show.

For his last song, David Cook sings Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, which is a better song choice than the Switchback song and the performance is decent--the girls in the audience certainly seem to be eating it up. Me, though, I really don’t dig Aerosmith, so it left me feel a little cold--but I seem to be in the minorty.

Randy seems to be on my side on this one. Paula babbles and looks like she’s going to weep. Maybe I do hate Paula. Simon thought it was quite good, indeed.

Syesha goes home.

But remind me to never fly JetBlue.

Mutlu says the can-finement happened Feb. 23, when he was a standby passenger for a flight from San Diego to New York.

He was told the flight was full, but a stewardess told him that he could take her assigned seat and that she would sit in the “jump seat,” said his lawyer, Zafer Akin.

Mutlu was issued a boarding pass and took Seat 2E, but got a rude awakening as he dozed off about 90 minutes into the red-eye flight, he claims.

The pilot called him to the front and “advised the plaintiff that he would have to give his seat up” to the flight attendant, the suit says.

The pilot told him the “flight attendant wanted to be more comfortable and that the ‘jump seat’ was not comfortable for her.”

A stunned Mutlu asked whether that meant he was supposed to sit in the jump seat for the rest of the five-hour flight, but the pilot told him that would be against regulations, Akin said.

The pilot told him to “hang out” in the bathroom,” the suit says, adding the stewardess took Mutlu’s seat, “closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

I’m also guessing that being seated in the bathroom, with no safety gear and no seat buckle is as against regulations as if Mutlu had been allowed to sit in the jump seat.

Now, once you read the whole thing, maybe we could talk about the appalling writing from the NY Post…

Read the rest. If you dare...

Bobby Jindal would be a remarkably good choice, although I continue to wonder if he’s even more useful in his current position. Mitt Romney wouldn’t be my first choice and he wouldn’t shore up all of McCain’s weaknesses, but he would be tremendous by comparison.

Until it’s official, I’ll consider it a useless rumor. If true, though, I won’t be voting Republican this year even though the potential cost would be monumental (more on that later this week). What I can’t personally accept is that Huckabee could be one heart attack, disease, accident, or impeachment away from the White House.

For people still worrying through their own voting strategy, this would be a good time to raise voices in opposition to Huckabee. If the GOP leadership and McCain’s strategists are listening, let’s hope they hear the disgust.

Read the story.

None of which changes the fact that updated information about the Interim Bash is coming up tomorrow--along with a little something about our benefactor. 

Completely unrelated (but since I am not blogging anymore):

Am I the only one who finds it odd (sickeningly so) that we would willingly invade a sovereign nation when most of the world was against the idea (I supported it), yet now this Administration refuses to even consider airdrops of basic supplies and foodstuffs to help a dying people because the junta that rules Burma says we can’t?

I quit blogging and suddenly there’s a whole bunch of stupid in the news.  Ain’t it always the way?

I wrote a lenghty response intending to leave a comment--but the lengthiness got to the point where it just seemed a bit excessive. So, instead of a comment, it’s become a little post. Feel free to snipe away at my arguments.

If the Myanmarese government does not relent, U.S. officials are discussing other options, including bypassing the government and sending helicopters directly to the worst-hit Irrawaddy Delta, where more than 1 million people may have lost their homes.

So, yeah, apparently they actually are considering direct aid and not just limited to haphazard airdrops.

I know that we already have one US ship in the area that isn’t being allowed to deliver its aid. We have approval for a single military plane to deliver food and medical supplies. US willingness to help is unquestioned, but the ability to give effective aid is being blocked by their government.

How useful would it be to just drop giant bundles of food and medicine? Without orderly distribution, is it likely to get to the people who need it or likely to be hoarded by those who get to it first regardless of need? How effective do you really think that will be? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t, but I am saying that much of the aid would be wasted and it would be far better if we could find an official avenue for aid distribution rather than dropping stuff out of the sky and hoping for the best.

If we force aid into the country, it will be a military operation with attendant risks. That the planning and negotiating isn’t done yet isn’t a surprise. Neither is it a surprise that some people want the government to act now without proper planning, consideration, or preparation. We aren’t talking about a full-on invasion, of course, but any time you send military vehicles into another nation’s airspace or plant your personnel on the ground without their government’s permission, you face political and military risks. Part of the consideration--which, for some reason, you don’t think has happened--is whether the results are worth the risks.

So far, the UN and much of the world is also against forcing aid--and with good reason. Aid money isn’t infinite and neither are the supplies that need to be sent; any way to maximize that aid instead of wasting it is just good sense.

Meanwhile, Kouchner’s proposal of forcing aid into the country gained little traction. Confrontation would not be helpful, UN Undersecretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs David Holmes said Thursday, a stance echoed by the European Commission, China, and other nations.

“I can understand the sentiment of France’s foreign minister, but I don’t think it’s the solution,” says James Schoff, associate director of Asia-Pacific studies at the Institute for Foreign Policy Analysis in Cambridge, Mass.

“You could get to a point where [the UN] could just do drops from the air. But for the whole assessment process – I don’t see how you could do that without working with locals on the ground,” he continues.

Analysts are hard pressed to recall a natural disaster where the UN’s “responsibility to protect” – a phrase conceived in 2005 largely in response to atrocities in Rwanda and Darfur – has been invoked.

There is probably no other possibility for delivering aid to Burma right now, Mr. Schoff continues, other than slow diplomatic gains and persistence. In a few days, Burma might come around, he says.

My guess--and it is just as much a guess as your assumption that the Bush administration isn’t even “considering” airdrops--is that aid will be forced if accommodation can’t be reached in the next week or so. And if that decision comes, it could well be at the expense of international popular opinion again. Currently, naval vessels are heading to set up a base of operations to the area and planes and equipment have been moved to establish an operating base in Thailand--these are all moves that will give us the capacity to quickly deliver aid to the country whether we are officially allowed or not. Not exactly the stuff of a nation sitting back, unwilling to help people in their time of suffering.

In other words, these are I think that it is likely that not only has direct aid been considered, but plans are in the works to actually deliver that aid in the most effective possible manner if we can’t reach an agreement with their government.

I’m sorry, but I don’t share your sense of outrage.

What the hell was I thinking? I really should have known better and if I had seen it in a theater I would be pissed. Hell, I just rented it for $4.99 on pay-per-view and I’m pretty damn cranky.