Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Quick Review: Starship Troopers
Comcast provides free movies on demand--a cool service, although the bulk of the movies are things that couldn’t actually be considered “good.” One of the movies is Starship Troopers, a film that I hated the first time through. I was curious as to whether my initial response would hold up to a second viewing.
It didn’t fare particularly well.
In reference to the Heinlein novel, this is a film with none of the thoughtfulness or intelligence of the book. Its characters are smaller, it shows no knowledge of the military, it abandons the social and political text for sarcastic melodrama, and, well, it just misses the damned point. It completely eviscerates the political context (not to mention casting Heinlein’s Juan Rico as a lily white idiot named John Rico).
And it doesn’t stand up on its own, either.
The acting (with the exception of Neil Patrick Harris) is horrid. It’s wooden and stilted and the screenplay reeks. The mobile infantry training, as represented in the movie, is sterile, unrealistic, and useless. It bears no resemblance to the reality of dragging your body through the dirt, digging foxholes, eating MREs, and sleeping in the cold. Real training is forced marches and tedious days at the range and learning how to be a soldier instead of a civilian. Most of it is about as exciting as learning how to correctly stow your gear in your locker--and the fun parts, like your first field training exercise, are punctuated by all the little ways that your drill sergeants can make your life a little extra miserable.
Whatever the hell it was that director Paul Verhoeven imagined had no relationship to the reality of life in the military. None.
And, seriously, is there a worse actor in the world than Casper Van Dien? His acting consists mostly of powerfully flexing his jaws and jerking his head melodramatically.
What’s most offensive about the thing is that it seems like a big flip of the finger to everything Heinlein was trying to say. It’s an intentional fuck you to the book and anyone who takes it seriously. Of course, I shouldn’t expect better from a man who had this to say about the United States and Starship Troopers.
And this (from the same interview):
Yeah, here’s a guy who respected his audience and the (somewhat) source material. You’d have a hard time convincing me he even understood the idea of Starship Troopers.
The only possible good points are the few moments of gratuitous nudity and that it reminded me just how much I still love the infantry. Just not the fake infantry of Van Dien’s hideous creation.
“To the everlasting glory of the Infantry,” indeed, and to men like Roger Young.
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