Way to go, Heidi Montag! Your new plasticky boobs and surgically enhanced everything make you so much prettier than before. The world is a much better place with yet another gigantic, fake-breasted blonde who, apparently, was so desperate to look like a prostitute or porn star that she underwent 10 surgical procedures to achieve the goal.

Which is nice since men will certainly take you more seriously as you pursue your career. Even better, you’ll set a great example for young women everywhere who should know that their sense of self-worth should stem from their achievements and their minds instead of from their surgically sculpted asses. Unless it says the exact opposite.

Which, I suppose, is my way of saying: Heidi Montag used to be a beautiful woman. Now she’s a hideously distorted version of what a real, live woman should look like.

Sad.