What Newsweek did with its lie about flushing the Koran down the toilet is called “Democracy”. Yeah, it was a lie, but here in America we’re used to it. As a matter of fact the press over here prints all sorts of stuff that they make up. Even the TV stations do it. Just last week I saw a newspaper, read by millions of people here in the U.S. and available at every supermarket, report that the Earth is going to split in two in just a couple of months.

Our news reporters have quite a problem with making stuff up. While Newsweek was “reporting” on “flushgate”, Wired magazine was busy firing a reporter who had for years been making up interviews and quotes. You probably haven’t heard of Jayson Blair or Stephen Glass. They made up news all the time, and are but the latest in a string of “reporters” who like to make stuff up. These people even get awards for writing these things. The New York Times, who happily printed Blair’s stuff for years, has a proud history of makng stuff up that dates back to Walter Durante in 1933.

It doesn’t help that most reporters are a little “slow”, if you know what I mean (they’re retarded). Every couple of years Newsweek or Time will run a story on a new discovery, get this, that boys and girls are different. Yep, the same people who reported on flushgate just figured out last year that boys and girls are “different.”

In America we just accept the fact that our news organizations make stuff up. Do you want to know what’s ironic? About 8 years ago Newsweek was sitting on the biggest story of the decade and decided to kill it. Can you believe that? They finally had a true and verifiable story and, not knowing what to do with the real thing, killed it.

You’re probably wondering why the press would make up lies. I’ll try to explain. The press plays this little game called “let’s take down the government.” For over 200 years now they have been working their asses off playing this game and trying to make up stories that will get people to riot and kick out the president. That’s all Newsweek was doing. It’s just that the wrong people rioted this time. Newsweek was hoping for riots in San Francisco and Detroit, not Kabul. Oops.

The reason we put up with a free press that has difficulties getting the truth straight is because we have learned that having a free press means our kids get to fly kites on sunny days. We don’t have to hide our satellite antennas, radios, VCRs, or TVs from nosy neighbors. A free press that can’t find its way to tell the truth somehow means we don’t have to worry about the secret police knocking down our doors at midnight and stealing away our fathers and sons, or raping our mothers and daughters. I know that doesn’t make sense. How can it be that when the press lies our lives are good? I don’t have an answer, other than it just works.

There are people here in America that believe everything printed in the newspapers and magazines. They especially believe stuff they see on TV. We call them moonbats. You are really nice people, I hope you guys don’t become moonbats too.