A series of thoughts related to what might become one of the big stories of the next few weeks: did presidential candidate John Edwards have an affair as alleged by The National Enquirer?

1. It doesn’t matter. If this consumes the time and energy of otherwise serious people, it will be doing a great disservice to all of us. This simply isn’t one of the important issues of our times.
2. It doesn’t matter. The title of the Enquirer’s piece is “PRESIDENTIAL CHEATING SCANDAL! ALLEGED AFFAIR COULD WRECK JOHN EDWARDS’ CAMPAIGN BID.” That’ s a joke. Edwards’ presidential bid is already wrecked; he’s showing even worse than he did last cycle, a likely victim of both the appearance of candidate who already failed fantastically in the last race and, aside from his looks, has a fairly forgettable personality and campaign. He doesn’t offer anything that Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama can’t provide, nor is he as aggressively leftist as Kucinich. Edwards is useless.
3. It doesn’t matter. I doubt that it will even have an effect on whether he is chosen as Clinton’s (c’mon, we know who will win the nomination) running mate.  I still say it would be foolish for anyone to pick him as their running mate since he has failed to deliver the one thing that he conceivably has going for him: the southern vote. What he ads to a campaign is the appearance of shallow youth, an easy target (in how he gained his fortune and in how he’s spent his money) for the GOP, and a name that the south has already said it doesn’t want.
4. Well, it might matter a bit. Of course, if the allegations are proven true, it will hang around him like the smoke from one of President Clinton’s mildly used cigars. But affairs--and especially rumors of affairs--don’t always translate into election losses as the Clintons and the Kennedies might tell you. The difference might be one of personality, though: whereas JFK and Bill Clinton had a certain star quality, Edwards has his hair. Which is, admittedly, lovely to look upon.
5. Too much speculation is beneath us. Kevin Aylward is a good guy, so this most certainly isn’t meant as calling him out, but I wish he wasn’t speculating as to the identity of Edwards’ illicit love interest, especially when there doesn’t seem to be much but gossip and conjecture to go on. I also think that he treads pretty close to a cheap shot at Elizabeth Edwards when commenting on the attractiveness gap between her and her hubby.

While we can’t say for sure what Edwards has or hasn’t done, I doubt it would surprise too many people if the allegations did prove true; politicians, musicians, big church pastors, and nearly everyone in Hollywood seem to find it hard to keep their private bits where they belong. Not mentioning it would be impossible--this will be hitting water cooler conferences around the country--but dwelling on it and digging deep is a huge waste of time when we have so much else to debate through this election cycle. Who will guide our economic policies, who will tackle (or not) entitlement reform, who will decide how best to wage our fight against Islamic terrorists, who will define how we face the health care problems facing us? These are important questions; where John Edwards’ penis has roamed is just so much gossip and diversion.

Now, I’m not saying we can’t or even shouldn’t talk about the story--especially with my track record of obsessing with sports, pop culture, and obscure musicians--I’m just saying I hope we don’t get bogged down in this story.