Thursday, October 01, 2009
The Less-Important Crimes of Hollywood
In amongst the discussions of how bad our cultural “elites” are at understanding anything other than their own hot-house environment, it might be well to remember just how bad they are at what is supposed to be their core competence. By this point, I assume that most readers have heard about using the arcade game Asteroids as a libretto for a movie of the same name. This represents a deep-seated intellectual bankruptcy, but at least it doesn’t do much to corrupt the original property.
This story from Variety*, though, is a bit more offensive. The 47 Ronin, starring Keanu Reeves, is bad enough, but:
The film will tell a stylized version of the story, mixing fantasy elements of the sort seen in “The Lord of the Rings” pics, with gritty battle scenes akin to those in films such as “Gladiator.”
That takes it right over the edge.
I assume that we will next see a remake of Citizen Kane reinterpreted as a movie about luge racing. I just want to say that if that happens, I want at least 1/2 point of the gross for the idea. And that will go to 1 point if they use, as I recommend, Mike Myers as Charles Foster Kane.
* Yes, it’s an old story now; so am I.
Comments & Trackbacks
Can’t really argue about the intellectual bankruptcy part, but the studios could also be just making the movies that most people want to see. How much audience would there be today for a movie such as Ben Hur? Hmmm. I wonder what the estimated viewing audience size is for The Ten Commandments when it airs every year. (Are they still doing that?) And neither of those movies is particularly challenging on the mental front.
And while I can’t imagine any reason to go see a move based on an arcade game, let alone make one in the first place, I also admit that I watch movies mainly for pure escapist entertainment. Intellectual interest is icing on the cake.
Yes. We are intellectually bankrupt.
And we have no shame.
/facedesk
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish getting my computer back up and running to my own satisfaction. Long story short, first a dead hard drive, followed closely by magic smoke from the CPU, followed by raising money to replace all of the above, followed by . This is my first night with my own internet access in over a month and a half, and I’m not going to go to bed until I have everything installed to my satisfaction.
With all the Polanski defenders, the bankruptcy is moral as well as intellectual.
Just remember, Doug, you’re welcome to post as often as you want to…