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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lessons in Economic Pragmatism

I would, indeed, like to buy the world a Coke and teach the world to sing. Sounds nice.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the wherewithal to support that goal since it would take more money and more professional singing coaches than I have on hand and resources are, indeed, limited. And while I considered, for a time, levying a new fee on singers worldwide in support of vocal equity, but decided that the bureaucracy and the inherent inefficiency in the collection and redistribution process of that scale would leave me far from my stated goal unless my “Sing Tax” was onerous enough that it might have an overall detrimental effect on the industry of singing--which seems contrary to my overall goal.

Besides, I couldn’t come to a place where teaching the world to sing lent itself to easily measurable results and the distribution of Coca Cola seemed likely to invite corruption and misuse on the part of intermediaries in some of the more difficult parts of the world. The last thing I wanted was the hear stories of charitable shipments of Coca Cola being re-sold by crime bosses in Kenya.

So, no, I’ll have to take a pass on that bit of kindness--which is fine since who the hell am I to decide that everyone in the world wants a Coke? Maybe they would prefer Dr. Pepper.

Doing good deeds on a global scale is such a pain in the ass.

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Coke’s fine by me, although I tend to partake of the diet variety these days. I notice that Pepsi is no longer calling itself, “The choice of a new generation,” so perhaps people wouldn’t want that, either. As for DP, I’ve never really cared for it. When I was a youth, I considered the hot Doctor Pepper the Christmas tree lots served to be particularly vile.

I kind of liked Tab and Fresca, though.

As for a “sing tax,” could we start with Wing? Please?

on Jan 29 2009 @ 10:42 PM

I was thinking that buying the world a beer might cause more actual singing, if karoake is any indication.  Then I came upon the part where you wanted to teach them to sing and that didn’t make sense anymore.

Too bad, cause I wanted that beer.

on Jan 30 2009 @ 08:32 AM

Tab?  Sheesh, you are old.

on Jan 30 2009 @ 09:49 AM

Hey, don’t diss the Tab. I love that stuff!

on Jan 30 2009 @ 12:27 PM

Old? Sure, why not? I’m switching to beer ... pass me a bottle of the “Fabacher family brand” and turn on the Dumont network, youngster!

on Jan 30 2009 @ 06:50 PM

I think you could get an educational grant to buy a bunch of people a coke, and teach them to sing. This would be the control group. The test groups would get alcoholic beverages, and be taught bawdy drinking songs.

on Jan 30 2009 @ 08:06 PM

Tab? Awesome!

on Jan 31 2009 @ 10:15 AM

Hey, I tried suggesting a place where they sang bawdy drinking songs. Remember?

on Jan 31 2009 @ 09:14 PM

Apparently doing crack is MUCH easier.

Personal aside: You got Dorkafork to come out from his cave?  You got skilz, yo.

on Feb 01 2009 @ 01:05 AM

You could achieve your goal of song-teaching and Coke-providing if you stopped clinging bitterly to your politics of fear.

on Feb 01 2009 @ 10:05 AM

I like drinking Coke, but I know it’s pretty bad for you.

on Feb 10 2009 @ 10:43 AM

Which...yeah…

on Feb 10 2009 @ 10:46 AM
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