I won’t force this meme on the unwilling, but feel free to play along. Let me know and I’ll link you up.

Richard Combs, that re-gifting bastard (who happens to be one of the brightest and nicest of the Denver-area bloggers and isn’t a bastard at all (except in the sense in which I’m using the term (and you should probably read his post to understand the reference))) passed the gift of the meme on to me. So, for you my beloved hecklers, are five things you probably don’t know about me.

1. The Holiday Admission. I can tell you that I honestly never remember a time when I believed that Santa Claus was real. Mrs. Buttersworth, on the other hand, still has a powerful hold on my psyche. I’m still pretty sure that out there in the big world is a real walking, talking bottle of syrup. Go figure.
2. The Advice to the Kids. My three biggest regrets in life (in ascending order): failing at marriage, failing in the military, and never finishing a degree. The first two have been talked to death, but the third needs a little commentary. I’m a reasonably bright guy who has been reasonably successful in life; but a degree would have given me more opportunities. When you’re young, the world looks like endless open doors. As you grow older, the doors start closing--mostly because change becomes difficult, some because realities (like bills and job demands) intrude. The biggest gift a person can give themselves is an education--it keeps those opportunities open longer.
   
   And, anyway, college parties are a blast.
3. Embarrassing Personal Bits. I am probably the laziest, most procrastinating person you have ever met. Well, not really met, exactly, but you know what I mean. In fact, I work hard to keep myself busy because my preferred mode of existence involves couches, remote controls, and more alcohol than you can shake a pointed stick at.
   
   Or, you know, “at which you can shake a pointed stick.”
4. Stupid Geek Moment. I really don’t like Isaac Asimov’s books. I’d like to apologize to my geeky brethren.
5. Strange Anatomical Fact That Probably Makes Me Better Than You. I don’t have wisdom teeth. I don’t mean that they’ve been removed, I mean that they never bothered to show up. Since the only thing they seem good for is making the “haves” miserable and making the “dentists” wealthier, it occurs to me that I am the next step in human evolution. Which, in reference to the tooth thing is pretty cool, but in so many other ways probably can’t be considered a good thing.

Walter was tagged.