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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

American Idol: Week Whatever

American Idol is here again and Ryan Seacrest is wearing a hideous sweater. That last bit isn’t relevant, I know, but it is worthy of note.

All the good bits are below the fold to protect those still innocent in the ways of the Idol.

Show tunes. Oh, joy.

Scott Savol “The Impossible Dream” from Man of Lamancha. He’s out here fighting for his life which is a shame because he sounded like crap. Tentative from the start, whiny, and way out of his element. And the crowd must have heard something a little different from me because they enjoyed the over-the-top ending. Unless someone else is really bad tonight, I imagine this is the end for the man who made it farther than I expected.

Paula, looking less drug addled than the last show I watched, loved it, of course. She’s an idiot.

Constantine Maroulis “My Funny Valentine” from Babes in Arms. He still looks like he wants to be a rock star, but he’s trying to sing like a torch singer. Little girls around the world are squealing in delight. To be fair, while I didn’t like it in particular, he sounded worlds better than Scott Savol. The delivery, complete with smoldering glances and knowing smiles was embarassing, though.

Paula admits that she’s in love with him. She continues to prove her idiocy. Simon gives his pouting performance a 9 1/2--proving that Simon both has a strange sense of humor and a much higher tolerance for pouting than do I.

Carrie Underwood “Hello, Young Lovers” from The King and I. Interesting choice. The first thing that caught me was the oddly dumpy dress. Not a particularly attractive look for her. The vocal performance was strong in a “going to the theater” kind of way, and her performance was free of any embarassing tics or oddities. Pretty darned good for what it was.

Paula is spared more “she’s an idiot” comments purely because the performance actually was good. She gets an extra “she’s an idiot,” though, for saying that the costume was wonderful.

Simon, true to form, was brutal. Perhaps Carrie should have pouted a bit.

Vonzell Solomon “People” from Funny Girl. A song from Babs. Probably a good choice, but it automatically fills me with unhappy thoughts. Vonzell bothers me. She has grown into the competition well, and her voice seems to get better nearly every week, but every time she talks I can’t help but think that her brains have left the building. Her performance was strong. Good stuff.

Paual is an idiot. Now it’s just fun to say and it has no relevance outside of that. Paula is an idiot. Go ahead and say it with me. Paula is an idiot.

I disagree with Simon again. I thought it was better than “just okay.” Maybe she should have...oh, you get the idea.

Anthony Fedorov “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” from The Sound of Music. Isn’t that cute. And he even throws in a fun, inspirational story. Doesn’t change the fact that the kid is bland as unseasoned tofu. His biggest claim to fame at this point is that he consistently doesn’t suck. He just sort of moves along, not sucking, but never managing to impress me.

Paula is an idiot. This time we say it with meaning again. She seems to think that all of the performances are equally gutsy, beautiful, and inspired; you’d be forgiven for believing that she was in charge of selling these kids instead of critiquing them.

Nikko Smith “One Hand, One Heart” from West Side Story. Good choice for him and singing show tunes seems, strangely, to fit. He was far better at not sucking than usual--and, given some of the other performances tonight, that should be more than enough to stay on the show. Far better than I had expected.

I’m now using the mute button whenever Paula is speaking. It’s my own silent revolution.

Side note: Does anyone else find the peeping tom Burger King commercials to be as disturbing as I do? I don’t care if the new breakfast sandwich is “meatnormous,” I still don’t want the creepy King lurking aroung outside my window.


Anwar some song that I didn’t quite catch because I was reading something else at the time. Hey, a musical style that suits him well, a better performance than he’s given in a long time, and a likely reprieve from a guy who has been on the bubble for weeks. Even the pseudo-Prince fashion statement didn’t bother me (although one badly mangled note most certainly did).

The g-phrase will be thrilled since she is deeply and madly in love with him.

Silent Paula is a beautiful thing. She’s so much smarter when she’s silent.

Bo Bice “Corner of the Sky” from Pippin. He admits that this could be tough for him and he’s right. Nothing about this really fits his personal style and, for the first time on the show, he looks uncomfortable on the stage. Still, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, especially with Scott and Anthony having been so horrible. The vocal wasn’t bad, but the overall performance was a little rough.

I bet he hopes he never has to perform a show song again in his life.

Un-muted Paula still loves everyone and looks as if she’s ready to deal Simon a violent and painful death. Simon was closer to being right than she was, but I didn’t think it was quite as bad as Simon did.

Nadia Turner “As Long as He Needs Me” from Oliver. Pardon me while I think naughty thoughts. This was a good choice for her voice--she sounded husky and looked sexy. She could sing me to sleep any night, even though I’m a little iffy on how she ended up the song.

She sounded so strong and looked so good that I can’t imagine her being voted off the island this week.

For the record, I would imagine that this is Scott’s week to say b’bye.

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I was hoping this would be Tony’s turn to go, but I agree that Scott was the worst.

Anwar and Nadia were both back to form, hopefully they’re around 3 or 4 more weeks.

And yes, Paula has totally cracked this year. It’s one thing to always say something nice, it’s another to rave when someone just came out and lowed like a wounded cow.

Burger King ads? All the current Burger King ads are disturbing as hell, but the “Wake up with the King” ones are the worst. Meatnormous? That word just makes me wince. Weird thing, tho, all those ads work. They make me want to have Burger King right now. Even if the King is some weird stalker.

on Apr 05 2005 @ 08:41 PM

I’m guessing Anthony will be there longer than he deserves. I’m telling you, the guy has the thirteen year old girl market cornered--and they’ll hold onto him until we gang up and kick their oversensitive, scrawny asses.

Know what I mean?

I’m really glad that both Nadia and Anwar seemed to pull themselves together. I was starting to worry.

on Apr 05 2005 @ 09:51 PM

Doesn’t change the fact that the kid is bland as unseasoned tofu.

You do realize that you have just insulted unseasoned tofu, right?

Even in my Percocet-enabled-fuzzy-headedness, I was cringing through much of last night’s show.

Say, have you blogged Savol’s domestic abuse charges yet?  I might have missed it.

on Apr 06 2005 @ 07:01 AM

Savol has a history, huh? I’m surprised they don’t do a much better job vetting these people now, didn’t they have to kick like three off for criminal records the first or second year?

I agree with Andy, last night sucked. Not only were the performances bad, but I only knew maybe one of the songs. I much prefer it when I like most of the selections.

on Apr 06 2005 @ 08:14 AM

I’m actually getting a good number of hits on people searching for information about that--but I haven’t looked into whether there is a real charge there or not.

I don’t like show tunes in a general sense, I didn’t enjoy many of the performances.

The best part of the night for me was watching Bo’s pre-performance interview snippet. He looked pretty unhappy about the whole thing.

on Apr 06 2005 @ 08:39 AM

Looked up the Savol stuff, it was a misdemeanor charge of domestic violence that was reduced to disorderly conduct. His sentence required anger management classes, a fine, and a short suspended jail term. Basically he shoved his girlfriend and threw a phone at her.

It sounds like American Idol will let you get away with anything that’s not a felony as long as you disclose it. I don’t really have a problem with that. Dude’s not long for the competition anyway if he doesn’t start singing in tune.

on Apr 06 2005 @ 08:50 AM

Today I decided to do the good husband thing and actually watch American Idol.

Paula really is and idiot.


on Apr 06 2005 @ 05:50 PM

She really is, isn’t she?

I mean, I don’t only say it for fun. Although you can’t really take the fun out of it, you know.

on Apr 06 2005 @ 06:03 PM
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