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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

American Idol: The Will David Cook Intentionally Tank so that He can Get On with His Life Edition

Still number one in your hearts and minds (and, at least for now, your TV dials), American Idol brings us three of the changiest candidates for President of all time.

Er, wait. Sorry. Wrong competition.

Anyway, David Archuleta singing Billy Joel’s “And So it Goes” is inspired. Truly. The slow, soulful song has a grand sweep that fits boy wonder’s irritating personality about perfectly. He can’t bring believability to the song--he isn’t old enough or straight enough to make a song about love and vulnerability believable. Still, his voice is in fine form.

Randy loved it. Paula loved it. Simon thinks it was good--although predictable and not quite great.

Syesha will be singing “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys--a song that I am completely unfamiliar with--isn’t quite as good. Or, at least, I can’t get myself past my apathy to think of anything witty enough to say about the mediocrity on display. Sorry about that. She’s not bad, but there seems to be nothing of her in anything she does and I can’t quite explain what I mean. Sorry again.

Girl thinks that Syesha just doesn’t sound good enough to compare with Alicia Keys and that she doesn’t do anything in her own style.

Randy loved it. I say that a lot, don’t I? Paula fights for grrrl power. Simon thought she did it well but wishes that she didn’t sound quite so much like the original. Everyone agrees that she’s a hotty. Which is undeniably true.

I’m not sure I understand Simon’s pick for David Cook. “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” doesn’t seem to be a good fit. Perhaps Simon hates David Cook secretly.

In the actual performance, it’s better than I thought it would be. He can do slow and sincere pretty well and his voice is pretty damned good. In fact, I was big time wrong. That actually worked pretty well--not only did he give a good performance of a tough song that wasn’t an obvious fit, but he’s far more believable singing about love than boy wonder.

Randy loved it but wishes Simon had picked a rocker. Paula needs her meds because she actually seemed to make sense for a moment. Waitress! Simon claims victory. I agree.

Round 2

David A. sometimes seems as lost as Paula. Singing Chris Brown’s upbeat “With You”, he’s making a play for pop idoldom. Mostly he just looks awkward in the dancing and lost in the singing. Talk about a believability deficit.

Randy agrees with me. Paula is Archuleta’s number one fan. Simon says it was a little “like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger.” Heheh. Funny. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, though. He’s got the deluded fan base of gazillions of young women with more doe eyed stupidity than good musical taste.

I’m looking forward to Syesha singing “Fever.” Hubba hubba. And if everyone thought that she looked good in this last dress, well…

She does it well, but, ultimately, she brings absolutely nothing new to the song. It sounds like it’s sounded hundreds of other times. Not that I’m complaining loudly--because that dress gets my vote every time. Girl looked at me with crankiness in her eyes when I complimented the dress, though, so I think I’m going to be leave that subject alone for a while…

Randy thought it was an “interesting” song choice (he didn’t mean it in the nicest possible way), but that she sang it well. Paula, once she gets past the obligatory compliments for the beauty and wonder of yet another singer, agrees with Randy. Simon agrees, too. Only more so.

So, David Cook is playing guitar and singing the Switchfoot single “Dare You to Move"--I think he’s trying to cement his rocking status. For me, it’s a bit uneven with a meandering, bland intro and a shouty ending, none of which seem particularly connected. Not hugely bad, but disappointing after that first song. Definitely disappointing.

Randy didn’t think it was so hot, Paula agreed, Simon agreed, too. Weird.

Round 3

Elfin Boy sings Fogelberg’s “Longer.” God, I hate the song in the original form, I hate it more when this boy is singing it. Watching him sing it is almost painful, I personally don’t like the sound of his voice, and I think it was a bad song choice.

Randy agrees a bit. Paula. Did she say something? Simon wasn’t so hot on it. Read the first comment from Carin for a great view on this one. Ouch.

Syesha and I’m pretty much done with her. Bored. Make her stop.

I think Randy feels the same. The audience boos loudly. Paula reminds us that the song was from the Happy Feet soundtrack. Which, yeah, the boredom is growing. Simon thinks it was better than song 2 (girl agrees), but that it wasn’t what she needed to stay in show.

For his last song, David Cook sings Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”, which is a better song choice than the Switchback song and the performance is decent--the girls in the audience certainly seem to be eating it up. Me, though, I really don’t dig Aerosmith, so it left me feel a little cold--but I seem to be in the minorty.

Randy seems to be on my side on this one. Paula babbles and looks like she’s going to weep. Maybe I do hate Paula. Simon thought it was quite good, indeed.

Syesha goes home.

Comments & Trackbacks
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Ok, the pinnicle was Archuletta singing that Fogelberg song.  Crap singer-songwriter song melded with crap adult contemporary voice. Bad news, the Up With People gang is gonna dump him for that performance.

on May 13 2008 @ 06:38 PM

I can only assume someone hates and despises Archuletta to hang that Fogelberg song around his neck.  I love that person like a brother.

Doesn’t it suck when Randy is on his period?  He’s so tessssty.

If Cook wins this thing (and I shan’t take this time to remind everyone that I predicted same way back when), he is going to need to Listen To His Producers in the future.  That second song was ASS. 

No, I have nothing to say about Syesha.  Legs do not a WINNAR make.

on May 13 2008 @ 07:40 PM

That’s BILLY JOEL, guys. smile

Do you realize that tonight, we’re kinda writing the same stuff?  Creepy.  Get outta my head, dude.

on May 13 2008 @ 08:25 PM

Izzat you, Chopped Liver?

on May 13 2008 @ 08:32 PM

It is.  And I’ll be shutting the hell up now.  THAT was Folgelberg, and that was my worst nightmare.

on May 13 2008 @ 08:46 PM

The Fogelberg was painful as hell.  It doesn’t matter, though; the little feller is heading to the final show.

on May 13 2008 @ 08:59 PM

I know.

I know, and I’m going to watch it.  And I’m going to freaking live blog it.  Again.  God, I wish I could douche my eyes.

on May 13 2008 @ 09:17 PM

Syesha goes home, Archuleta wins next week (propelled by the tweener demographic that makes up the show’s core audience), and Cook goes on to have a Daughtry-like career.  He might even outsell and outlast the winner, in true Aiken style.

I can’t believe I even wrote that.  Ugh ... time to do something manly to compensate ... install the MSD 6T ignition in the ‘69 Cutlass, perhaps?

on May 14 2008 @ 05:59 AM

I kinda hope Cook goes home tonight. That would mean I could get on with my life one week earlier. Two nights devoted to AI is a bit much.

on May 14 2008 @ 06:18 AM

I think Bob has pretty much nailed it--but I’m with Carin on the hoping side of things. If Cook is knocked out of the running, I won’t have to watch next week. That would be a nice sense of renewed freedom.

Freedom!

on May 14 2008 @ 06:48 AM

Cry freedom cry!

And Bob, that was totally awesome.  I just lost almost all respect for you, but still.  AWESOME.

on May 14 2008 @ 10:12 AM

I forgot all about Idol after last night’s Hell’s Kitchen. Delicious to see someone else suffering besides me, after watching Idol.

on May 14 2008 @ 05:37 PM

Am I the only one that thinks that they might intentionally find crappy chefs for that show? Surely those folks can’t be the best candidates for the job.

What a hilarious show.

on May 14 2008 @ 06:38 PM
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