If it isn’t Paula’s naughty relationship with a contestant, it’s Bo Bice’s Big Bag of Cocaine.

Somehow, American Idol just got a lot more fun…

Update: I should probably have a little talk with my lawyers...

Anthony Federov “Poison Ivy.” Yeah, this is barely worth commenting on; not only isn’t a good fit for him, he isn’t a good fit for public performance. Bad in all sorts of ways. On the plus side, it looked like he had fun.

Randy didn’t like it. Paula tried to find the silver lining. Simon brutalized him. “Insipid, amateurish.” Yep.

Scotty “On Broadway.” Goodness, I hope he does this well, because this is a great song. Decent start. Good, and getting better, although he looks funnier than he has in weeks. Aside from a few rough moments, that was a solid performance. He didn’t disgrace the song at all.

Randy gave a decent, fair review. Paula was, in typical fashion, overly kind. Simon pretty much reiterated Randy’s view.

Vonzell “Treat Me Nice.” She does really get more stupid as the show goes on, doesn’t she? And her performance of this song was poor--a bad song choice for her with little redeeming value. Almost as bad as Anthony.

Randy is smoking crack. The vocals were horrible, and he’s saying that it was incredible? What? No, really, what?

Paula is typically stupid.

Simon brings the honesty. “A bit of a mess.” Proving once again that Simon is the only one of the three with a consistent critical sense.

Bo Bice “Stand by Me.” Can it fit his vocal style? Yes, yes indeed. Not an inspired performance, but solid enough to be far better than the others so far. Good stuff right up until the end where he overdid it a tad.

Good stuff, indeed.

Randy loved him. Paula loves everyone. Simon loved him, too.

The only question seems to be whether Bo can withstand the Big Bag of Cocaine scandal.

Carrie “Trouble.” This was a good song for her--a fun performance and she looked adorable tonight. This thing has to be coming down to Bo and Carrie at the end.

That was right up there with Bo’s performance.

Randy loved her. Paula loves everyone. Simon loved her, too.

Round 2

Anthony I don’t know this song. As a performance, it was better than his first attempt; unfortunately, that’s a mighty low bar. In a way, this kind of weepy, contemporary stuff is perfect for him, but that doesn’t make it good. He misses notes, he fails to sound even vaguely interesting to anyone over 14, and his tofu nature is coming through.

Randy didn’t like it. Paula tried to find a silver lining. Simon was nicer than I feel.

Scott Oh, jeez, more weepy contemporary stuff. A decent song choice for Scotty and a solid performance. The problem here is the same problem that Anthony faced: the songs are less than inspiring for a listener like me.

Randy is probably right: Scotty stays in it for at least another week. Paula went blah blah blah. Simon was mean. See a pattern?

Vonzell More stupid by the minute. Okay, is the entire current Top 40 catalog weepy contemporary stuff? Is there nothing lively or interesting or, God forbid, rock oriented? Whatever the answer, the song was ugly and the performance was, at best, uneven.

Randy loved it (but he loved the first song from the Vonz). Paula blah blah blah. Simon brought some reality to the situation.

Vonzell is lucky that she’s up against Anthony this week. Just sayin’…

Bo Bice It’s another song that I don’t know, but, thank God, it wasn’t another weepy contemporary number. In fact, I liked the song and the performance was lively. It was a really good week for Bo, although, to be fair, I was just thrilled to be rescued from the weepy contemporary crap.

Randy loved it, Paula loved it, Simon says that Bo makes some of the others look like amateurs. Isn’t that the truth?

Carrie and her “amazing dream thing.” I’d explore that further, but this doesn’t seem to be the time. A tame, timid song saved only by the fact that she sang it well and looked cute as all get out. Very nice.

G phrase: “She and Bo should stay. Everyone else should go home.”

The only two that deserved to be here tonight were, in fact, Bo and Carrie.

Anthony goes home this week unless middle America can’t forgive Bo for his criminal past.