To everyone looking for intelligent commentary on the day’s events, I would like to apologize. Instead I’m giving you American Idol.

Mandisa Hundley has a big presence and a big voice (and that’s not a sly reference to Simon’s “bigger stage” comment). She’s impressive even when she isn’t at her best.

In reference to Kellie Pickler’s interview and performance. Firstly, I’m impressed how she played both the “poor me” card (reminding us of her dad and all of her personal struggles) and the “I’m available” card (in telling us that she doesn’t have a love life). So, she gets the horny boy and weepy women vote all in just a few minutes.

Honestly, she really does seem like a nice and relatively genuine person--and it would be hard to overstate the “damn she’s hot” portion--but she’s also one of the least talented singers. She doesn’t hold her notes well, she can’t seem to get past her nerves, and she has a sort of small presence. I don’t think she’ll make it very far.

Unless I’m underestimating the horny boy vote.

Becky O’Donohue will definitely compete for the horny boy voice. Yet, there is nothing about her singing that has appealed to me throughout the competition--she’s a grade “A” karaoke singer, but not much more. She also seems like one of the most forced and contrived personalities still in the competition. There’s nothing that I like about her performance, her voice, or her personality. But naked pictures could go a long way in changing my mind.

Heheh. Sorry.

Get a load of Ayla Brown, though. I like her aggressive sports-star attitude and there seems to be very little artifice in her. I don’t think she’s a great vocalist; in fact, when she goes for the higher notes, she tends to yell more than sing. Still, she’s a step up from Becky and she has a few good moments. She wins me with her personality (although I don’t expect her to be anywhere close to the final six or eight).

Of course, I also get a kick out of the fact that she’s about a foot taller than Ryan Seacrest.

Paris Bennett is a mixed bag to me. I love her enthusiasm and I think that she may have the best voice of the bunch. But she’s young and I don’t want her to win. Now, before people get upset, let me explain myself: winning would probably ruin her. Becoming a pop star is miles below her vocal potential. She could be an honest-to-God artist is she’s given enough time to develop her own style and not forced into the mold of a typical contemporary pop singer. It would be a step down from what she could be.

Adorable girl and I think she has a great shot at winning.

Sidenote: I love the look of the new iPod ads ("Sparks"). The move from the slick, original ads to the grainy, more visually involving style maintains that iPod identity while making the concept feel fresh again. Very attractive.

The opera trained Stevie Scott had a rough night. She has a hell of a voice, but you wouldn’t know it from the timid, restrained, wavery performance. She has a great image and a lovely personality, but the performance was weak (regardless of Paula’s “it was very brave of you” commentary). Sadly, she’s much better than that; talented, trained, and probably gone.

Simon might like Brenna Gethers but I sure as hell don’t. She’s irritates, she poses constantly, and she picked a Stevie Wonder song. Please, America, send her home. Please. Her voice isn’t anywhere near the top of this group and her personality is even worse.

Heather Cox undeniably looks the part and, in some ways, acts the part of a pop star. Unfortunately, her vocals are boring and uninspired.

How can I say this politely? Melissa McGhee bores me like you wouldn’t believe (and hearing her say something like, “I have a great heart,” tends to make me wonder is she decapitates kittens in her spare time). She missed some notes in a really bad way, although she did enough to stay in the contest. (Paula is an idiot.)

Sixteen still seems awfully young for the contest, but Lisa Tucker definitely has the voice to be in the contest. She needs to work on making her stage movements look natural and the song’s arrangement (slow, plodding, a little disjointed) did nothing to help her.

I have a hard time critiquing Kinnick Sky because I really don’t like her voice. I can see why others could get excited by her, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree. And, again, the song arrangement irritated me, too. (Paula continues to be an idiot.) She seems to be a truly wonderful person, though. I would much rather see her continue--even with a voice that I just can’t connect with--than some of the younger singers.

Lastly, Katharine McPhee. Great voice, beautiful, and charming--but is there anything original about her? Maybe there is a little spark inside of her somewhere, but I’m struggling to see it. And, trust me, I’m looking hard. It was one of the best performances of the night, and she’s a lock to keep going for a while, but I wonder what else is inside of her. Paris Bennett shines--with or without American Idol, she will be a star.

Katharine, on the other hand, will fade away if she doesn’t win this contest.

Her post-song giddiness was about cute as hell, though.