Where are the drugs and the sex scandals? I think the ratings would go up if only they’d let Bo sing “Cocaine” and have Paula announce her upcoming book: The American Idols I’ve Done Naughty Things With.

Instead we get Philly music and country music. Drugs and sex or Philly and country.

Updates are below the fold to save the unsuspecting from infection with American Idol.

Update: For all the folks coming from a search and wondering why Vonzell was crying, this is the only good rumor-mongering I could find on the subject.

Rumors on the reason behind Vonzell’s tears range from a death in the family to the death of a beloved family dog.

This quote from an article on Reality TV Magazine. Enjoy.

And don’t forget to vote for Bo Bice and His Big Bag of Cocaine!

Carrie starts with a song that I’ll assume is called “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.” Good, fun performance (she’s really improved in this area) and the vocals were good, although not great.

Yeah, this one was decent, but not compelling. She looked wonderful, though. This was the kind of performance that will definitely keep her in the show.

Randy agreed. Paula blah blah blah. Simon nails it--effortless and with a great show of personality. But, yeah, it was exactly what you’d expect.

Bo sings country--and with my deficit of contemporary country music knowledge, you know I can’t tell you the artist or the song. The song and the performance were both a little blah, though. Just a tad on the boring side, although not precisely bad.

Here’s hoping that his second song is a little better.

G-phrase agrees but says that it was a good song for his voice.

Randy finds the silver lining. Paula wants to find the silver lining, but doesn’t. Simon agrees with me. “Lazy, uninspiring performance.” Yep, I can see that.

Maybe Bo needs a little pick me up, if you know what I’m saying.

Vonzell sings boring crap. And it isn’t a particularly good performance of the boring crap, either. She tried to make up for it at the end, but, in truth, it was just an average performance at best.

G-phrase says she needs better breath control to fill out the notes better.

Randy finds the silver lining. He’s good at that. Paula makes it all about the emotions. Simon goes for the jugular.

That was an odd round of judging, actually, ending with Vonzell crying. Apparently, she’s had very bad day.

Anthony sings boring crap, too, but not nearly as well as Vonzell. I will give him this, though: his parents make him more likable.

When he sings, I find myself uncontrollably glaring at the screen saying, “Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up.”

Randy was nice. Paula is apparently trying to be more critical tonight. Simon was reasonably nice about the performance, but isn’t enjoying the evening.

Carrie--what the hell is up with all the freakin’ crying tonight? Huh?

There’s no crying in American Idol!

Carrie is singing a gorgeous song and she’s murdering it; this just isn’t her style and she can’t make me feel the emotions. She’s singing flat and trying to make up for it by singing “big” at the end.

On the plus side, she looks cute tonight.

Joking aside, this was probably her worst performance and it was the worst performance of the night.

Randy agrees. Paula stays the critical path. This is bizarre. Simon lowers the boom.

Bo isn’t crying, but he’s doing all the emotional stuff, too. A much better performance of a much better song. It was sort of odd, though, because that down south rocker influence kept creeping in. He was lively, sounded strong, and looked like he was having a hell of a good time.

Much, much better, and the best of the night thus far.

Randy loved it. Paula, too. Simon makes a lousy joke, a small hit against Bo’s outfit, and a big up for the performance.

Vonzell starts rough and then gets better. My girlfriend has a strange fixation on Vonzell’s freakishly large butt. It’s a little distracting, if you want to know the truth.

A much better performance, with a few rough spots.

Randy liked it, Paula was proud, and Simon was a little more critical. Imagine that.

Anthony chose the sang song that Carrie sang. Normally that would probably be a bad thing--it could take the energy out of the song. Lucky for Anthony, Carrie left the door open. The song and the arrangement are much better for Anthony--and, by comparison, he sounded brilliant.

That isn’t to say that he was great in an absolute sense, but context was his friend on this night.

Who will be going home tonight? My money would have been on Vonzell, but her crying will buy her the sympathy vote. My money says that Anthony will be going, but I wouldn’t be too surprised to see Carrie take the bullet. Carrie had a bad night, but she has good will on her side.