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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

American Idol, April 8, 2009: The I I’m Missing the Nuggets for This? Edition

I say never underestimate the tremendous drama created by a handful of mostly mediocre vocal talents. If you do, you might find that they come along and sing your face right off.

So be careful out there, folks. Keep your head on a swivel. Metaphorically speaking.

Randy starts off the show by saying how disappointed he was in yesterday’s show. Which, yeah, dawg. Kara starts by making excuses for the fact that they chose a handful of mostly mediocre vocal talents to do their best to kill off the franchise. Or something of that nature.

Then, as a cautionary tale, they have an aging Frankie Avalon come out and sing “Venus"--which is a lovely song, but Frankie’s voice ain’t what it used to be. Here, mediocre vocal talents, is a man who had a voice and style that most of you can’t tough, and even his gifts are fading. What chance do you guys have of having a career that last any longer than the lifespan of the average pet rock? The answer, of course, is not much. Pop stars ain’t what they used to be, either, and you better be careful how you spend that money.

Umm, what were we talking about?

Oh, that’s right, we were talking about the disastrous cover of Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head"--it started out reasonably well, but it fell apart in an impressive fashion. For a bunch of singers they sure didn’t sing that very well. You can see the original in the extended entry if you wanted to do a compare and contrast of your very own. It could save you from contemplating the lengthy up close and personal segment preceding the Ford informercial portion of the evening. Which, to be fair, was miles better than the live song and dance portion of the evening.

And was that a Ford Fusion they were spotlighting (after the new Mustang GT)? Nice looking car, although I have to admit to having a little bit of lust growing in my heart for the boxy (and semi-biggish) Flex.

All of which is still better than the mush of Flo Rida’s “Right Round,” a song about the glories of oral sex ("you spin my head right round, right round, when you go down...” (no that there’s anything wrong with that)) that manages to mangle Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” in new and unique ways that I hope I’ll never have to hear again. Calling it a remix isn’t right; it’s more inspired by, instead of an imitation of, the original. The redeeming moment of the song comes when it’s over and he is seen towering over Ryan Seacrest who looks like a tiny little wisp of a man by comparison.

Safe: Adam, which, you already knew that. Kris Allan, which might be more of a surprise. Danny, who will likely be in the final with Adam. Matt G, who is tremendously lucky.

Risky: Anoop, who is sinking fast. Scott, who earned his way to the bottom. Lil, who has been flitting about the bottom of the list for a while, I’m pretty sure.

Simon says there are two--and one in particular--who would be considered for the judge’s save. My guess would be that the list wouldn’t include Anoop (who has already had his second chance) and that Lil is the one they would be most likely to save. Honestly, I don’t understand that: Lil is a marginal talent who can really big at times. While she has moments where she sounds great, she’s also inconsistent and, at times, plain bad.

I wouldn’t save any of them.

Speaking of marginal talents, there goes Kellie Pickler!

So, Lil goes back to the safe zone, which is a little surprising to me since I thought the bottom two would be Anoop and Lil. Which just goes to show what I know.

Scott, with the lowest number of votes for the evening, sings in hopes of convincing the judges to keep him in the show--and Paula looks ready to cry while Kara seems to be pleading the case to Simon. My guess is that Simon will be playing the part of Scrooge for the evening since Scott really isn’t that good. He’s nice, he has a pleasant tone to his voice, and he still probably has a career in Christian pop--but he really isn’t that good. He does not have a great voice, although he does have a great personality, he is a very talented pianist, and I think he could coach some of the other singers into making better song choices and working better arrangements.

And Simon does, indeed, play the part of Scrooge this week. No save for Scott, which might not make the crowds happy but which is the right choice.

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I find it astonishing how bad they all really are.  I haven’t watched one elimination show this year, mostly because I couldn’t care less who goes home.  They all kind of suck.

on Apr 08 2009 @ 09:17 PM

That Kylie Minoque video is the most annoying thing ever put on film since The Sound of Music ...

on Apr 09 2009 @ 06:54 AM

Mr. Lady, you are so right. Horrible year.

And playing the part of Early Morning Scrooge will be Robin.

The hillllls are alllliiiive with the sound of muuuuusic…

on Apr 09 2009 @ 07:30 AM

** bang ** **bang** Hold that damn nun still, damnit.  ** bang **

on Apr 09 2009 @ 09:00 AM
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