Tuesday, April 04, 2006
American Idol: April 4
Country night? So few singers remaining, so much cruelty in my heart. And, sadly, I missed the first couple performance--especially disappointed that I missed Mandisa.
Here comes Elliott singing “If Tomorrow Never Comes”. My best man, Missy, loved this song, so I feel obligated to give this song a thumbs up. Elliott sang it well, it was a lovely arrangement even if a bit bland. Nice but not great.
The real question is what the hell was Paula blathering on about? Has she been hitting the pill bottles again?
Paris--my obvious favorite in the contest--is obviously out of her element tonight. She starts wobbly and a little uncomfortable. Singing “How Do I Live Without You”, one of the sappiest choices she could possibly make, she didn’t have a lot of opportunity to show off what makes her special. Not really that good--although, surprisingly, Simon enjoyed the performance.
She’s lucky that she has built up a store of good will that could carry her through this week.
I hate Ace. His overly-studied mannerisms, his heartful gazes, his irritating habit of singing in public.
Kenny Rogers thinks that people like Ace because he sings with his heart; Kenny Rogers is wrong. The song was as boring a piece of song as you could imagine, not helped by the gratuitous falsetto at the end. Nasty little bit of singing there.
And then the g-phrase came over after a bad day at work and American Idol no longer mattered.
Which, from what I heard, was really for the best.
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You got that right. Taylor Hicks started the evening off with “Counrtry Road” (West Virginia mountain mama or whateverthef@#$), and his performance sucked great gobs of suckitude right through my 65” HD screen. Then Mandisa came up and offered up what quite possibly might be the most misguided, horrific arrangement of a Shania Twain song that I could ever imagine, and she sang it poorly to boot. IMHO, Mandisa is absolutely horrible unless she’s yelling the song at the top of her lungs. I’d like to say it significantly went uphill from there, but as you know, it didn’t.
Sad about Taylor. I’ve really liked him up until this point but I’m wondering if this is the week that sees him go; I haven’t seen anything that indicated he had an even half-way decent performance.
You’re either country or you aren’t and most of these guys just don’t fit that mold. It’s almost unfair to ask them sing these kinds of songs.
Last night, AI sucked more than it has ever sucked before - and that is saying a lot. Although I really dislike the Pickler chick on many levels, she looked way-hot last night. Not cute - smokin’ hot. Other than that, it pretty much all sucked. Simon was having a terrible time - he pretty much hated all of the songs. In response, the McGhee chick had the only good moment of the day. As Simon was struggling for something to say about her song she cut in and said “It’s OK Simon, you don’t like country music. Just say it.” In response, he threw up his arms and said “You’re right - I don’t like country music.” And that, my friend, is all that there was to it.
By the way, as of a couple of weeks ago we adopted a new rule in my house - if my wife wants me to watch AI with her she must mute (or fast forward if we are watching it in DVR) Paula every time she speaks. No exceptions. This little rule has gone a long way to preserving the sanctity of our marriage.
And then the g-phrase came over after a bad day at work and American Idol no longer mattered.
See, the thing that frightens me is that American Idol apparently mattered before the g-phrase showed up.
Seriously dude, get help somewhere.