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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Anti-Suck

I will not be overcome by the forces of suckiness; I will fight the suckiness.

  1. The Ripsaw fights the suckiness. I’m not entirely sure how useful it is, but I’d be happy to get one as a birthday present. 0 to 50 in 3.5 seconds in a tracked vehicle?
  2. Fight the suck by mocking Britney. Trust me: it works.
  3. CadillacTight fights the suck mightily. And has been rewarded for his efforts. Good man.
  4. And while we’re on the subject of zoomy vehicles, a rocket powered fights the suck with style. Of course, it might cross right over the line into stupidity, but that is a price I’m more than willing to have someone else pay.
  5. Learning swordplay from De Doc would be a way for Denver denizens to fight--with sharp, pointy objects--against the encroachment of the suck. My knowledge of fencing comes exclusively from a few “lessons” taught to me when I was in high school. My teacher was invariably drunk to the point of wobbliness, and his teaching might not have been the most focused. This is also how I got my first taste of rappelling, a crash lesson in shaped charges and the use of accelerants to make even bigger booms in other situations, and the proper method for making homemade spaghetti noodles without benefit of a pasta maker. He was a talented and caring man; sadly, he drank sadness with a suicidal fervency. I suppose that’s a long way of saying that I wouldn’t be well suited to Doc’s class; my skills are a bit lacking.
  6. Clients that pay their invoices on time don’t suck. I don’t have many of those. That sucks.
  7. Spending Fathers’ Day with your future wife, enjoying a bright Colorado day, and eating macaroni and cheese on a stick--now that is a great way to fight the suck.

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