Update: And when you’re done here, you should stop by and read Mr. Lady’s post. Because it’s funnier than mine. Which is a damned high bar to clear, if you know what I mean. Update 2: And here’s another one.

So, yeah, back to American Idol now that the Colorado Avalanche dinged up my hopeful heart. Not a lot, mind you, just a little.

David Cook is singing “Hungry Like the Wolf.” Which is from the year he was born. Which is to say, 1982. You lose my vote when you make me feel old, kiddo. Just so’s you know.

Anyway, it isn’t bad in a useless cover sort of way. He isn’t really into it, he doesn’t change it up enough to make it intriguingly his own, and it doesn’t really suit his style. Probably should have gone in another direction even though I can’t imagine he’s in much danger of getting booted from the show. Mediocre.

Randy thought it was “okay” and “solid” but doesn’t seem impressed. Paula wants to eat him, apparently. I’m pretty sure she means it in the naughty way, not the scary Jeffrey Dahmer kind of way. Simon agrees with Randy. No one seems impressed, least of all the deliveryman who has just kindly dropped by to bring me hot & sour soup. Mmmm.

Paula would be jealous.

I can’t help but think Syesha is a little lucky to still be on the show. She was pretty uneven early in the season, but she outlasted some others and seems to be hitting stride at the right time.

Can she pull off “Proud Mary?” Well she certainly has the legs to make a good go of it. Starts slow and a little cabaret, but kicks into high gear half way through. Fun performance, but only decent vocals compared to Tina Turner’s scorching hot original. The crowd eats it up, but it makes me want to see Tina Turner--and I’m not even a big fan. Whatever. Not bad, but she was more worried about the dancing than the singing--and that was an error in judgement.

Randy loves it with all his giant heart. Paula loves it, too. And she goes on and on saying nothing much interesting. Simon didn’t like it. At all.

Interracial Aside: Lovely post about the passing of Mildred Loving on Wizbang. Worth a read to remind people of both how far we’ve come on racial issues in a short time--and, not incidentally, just how close we remain to some of America’s embarrassing past.

None of which changes the fact that Jason Castro’s “I Shot the Sheriff” is just bad. Bad karaoke bad, if you take my meaning. Messy, wrong, bad vocals, horrid performance. Make the dreads go home.

Randy starts by teeing off, then pulls back a bit. Stick with the original instinct, buddy. Paula “wasn’t crazy about” it, but she wants him to know that he’s special, anyway. What a waste of a critique. Simon nails it: “That was utterly atrocious.” Yep, it was as bad as all that.

The sad little elf, David Archuleta takes on Ben E. King’s “Stand by Me” and does a credible performance. Not great, but it’s a comfortable fit and it’s one of those songs that makes people feel good. Archuleta tries to do too much with it, but he’ll have people on his side because that is a great freakin’ song. Darling girl says, “He’s overestimating how much I want to hear him...”

Decent performance, brilliant song choice.

Randy loves it. Paula loves the youngin’. Simon says it sounded brilliant by comparison to the previous tune, that he struggled a little at the end, but that it was still the best performance of the evening. Which, pleaseLlord, let it get better. Please?

David Cook’s second song is a smarter pick. The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” is just the kind of thing that you can imagine him sinking his rock sensibilities into--not demanding vocals, but suited to his personality. Which is why it’s sort of strange to see it done in a slightly listless fashion. I don’t get it--it certainly wasn’t bad, but it was nowhere near actual, honest-to-God good. Perhaps he just doesn’t feel like putting much effort into the show at this point--that his career is assured whether he wins or not. Whatever the reason, he just seems to be coasting right now.

Randy liked it more than the first one (ditto), but it’s hard to divine whether he’s impressed or not. Not sure. Paula is still a zone completely free of purpose on the show. Simon welcomes him back to the show.

She Linked Me Aside: I love it when Hazel links me. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside--which, in turn, makes darling girl glare at me crankily. Er, sorry, baby. Still, thanks Hazel--yet again, you’ve nailed the essence of the story.

Sam Cooke’s “A Change is Gonna Come” is a truly great American song. Soulful, beautiful, poetic, and powerful. And Syesha (with just a few wobbles) does the song justice. Lovely, although it could have done without the gratuitous big note at the end--this is a song that doesn’t need extra adornment.

Randy doesn’t dig it and comments on what I said: it’s a song that doesn’t need any extra. I still liked it, but he definitely didn’t. Paul goes all speechifying on us. Simon loves it and says so rather nicely. The kind comments make the girl cry--which is sort of sweet.

There is no way that Jason Castro can do as poorly with song two as he did with song one. Although I think Dylan misfired on “Mr. Tambourine Man” (and seem to be close to alone in that assessment), it’s a song that fits Castro. Who promptly proves me wrong by losing the lyrics early in the song and whining his way through the rest. Whatever value there is in the song is lose in his unpleasant and awkward vocals. I’m not sure it was worse than song one, but it wasn’t very good.

Randy didn’t like it. Paula makes strange noises that have little to do with the song. Simon tells Jason to pack his suitcase. Wowsers.

Not that I disagree.

Last up, Archuleta makes Elvis’ gooey “Love Me Tender” into something even more tooth-decaying, then misses some notes, sounds sort of odd, and saves me from having to be nice to him twice in the same show. Everyone else will have loved it, of course, but the more soulful he tries to be the less I like him. It may be a credibility issue.

Randy loved it. Paula, well, yeah. Simon says he “crushed the competition.”