Okay, I just showed up, Syesha is singing “I Believe,” and I’m already bored. Beware, Paula, I own the cranky tonight.

Randy: no. Paula: here’s the stupid. Simon: Whatever.

So, what did I miss?

“Over the Rainbow” by Jason “The Ukulele Master” Castro. Sorry, buddy, that had nothing on Brudda Iz’s version. Your voice just can’t pull off that level of pretty and the little attempt at a falsetto was a bad idea.

Randy owns the stupid. Paula fights back for the title. Simon wants a piece, too.

G phrase says it was horrible and I agree. If Syesha can be compared (unfavorably) to Whitney Houston and Fantasia, why does Castro get a pass on a phenomenally lesser version of this song?

Kristy Lee Cook is destined to go home this week. Probably. Her only hope is to dress really slutty--and she doesn’t quite reach the heights or slutdom required for a sex-appeal save at this late stage of the contest. The song--which I don’t know--is bland and her performance is pretty strong. As many times as she’s visited the bottom, I can’t imagine that this will save her, though.

Which, oddly, isn’t to say that I think she was the worst of the bunch (and I’ve only seen three), but I don’t think she has much of a following to save her.

Randy gives her love. Paula follows suit. Simon agrees. WIll their Kristy love save her for another week? Or will I make it two weeks in a row calling the departing wannabe?

“Innocent” by Our Lady Peace might have been a big mistake by David Cook. Vocally, he doesn’t shine. The song isn’t particularly well known. Frankly, it’s a little messy. Oops. I imagine good will will save him, because I don’t think the song, the performance, and the “give back” written on his hand at the end were very good.

Randy didn’t dig it. Paula loves him unconditionally and brainlessly. Simon calls it pompous and doesn’t like it much.

I think the real question that we’re all asking, though, is whether Paula’s boobs will break free of that bustier? I mean, that looks like a wardrobe malfunction coming down the road.

I like the idea of Carly singing Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” but the reality of it left me a little cold. It wasn’t a good performance--although the wardrobe looked better this week.

Randy had issues with it, too. Paula liked the voice, didn’t like the performance. Simon liked the new wardrobe choice, too, but didn’t like the song choice or the performance--he thinks she’ll be near the bottom. Which, I agree--and I’m starting to wonder if I wasn’t too quick to mark Kristy Lee off the show this week.

Not a good week. At all. None of which changes the fact that this is funny. Bwahahahah.

I hate David Archuleta, but you knew that already. I have to admit that it was best of the night, though. I hate that--and I still don’t like his voice.

Randy loves him. Paula looks ready to molest him. Simon liked the song choice and, by his own admission, nitpicks a bit to find things to complain about.

Check out Andy “The Godless One” and his thoughts. He’s mean and funny.

James Taylor. Carole King. “You’ve Got a Friend.” This isn’t looking good for me since I hate this song almost as much as I hate the existence of David Archuleta. Not only that, but Brooke--wonderful Brooke--that wasn’t good. It was forced, it went off pitch a few times, and the performance was a little off. Not my speed.

Randy tries to be nice, but he didn’t like it. Paula is all sunlight and stupid. It’s what she does. Simon thought it was a “pleasant walk in the park.” Which is very faint praise, indeed.

This was the worst night of the year. Which makes me happy that Hell’s Kitchen is on next. Embrace the evil of Chef Ramsey and his incredible profanities. How do they pick the wannabe cooks, anyway? It can’t be based on talent.