Tuesday, March 03, 2009

American Idol, March 3 2009: The Does it Get Better Than Last Week Edition?

Von Smith: Carefully not yelling, he seems like an awfully nice guy. As girl says, I wish he were a better singer, though. Yelling or not, this kid really isn’t worth noticing for anything other than his pleasant personality and giant, gaping mouth. Seriously, when he really opens that thing up, he looks like a freakin’ mutant. Whateverish regardless of what the judges thought. SImon says the guy reminds him of Clay Aiken, which I can’t think of as a particularly wonderful thing.

And we already have our first commercial break…

Taylor Vaifanua: Hey, that dress makes her look pregnant and those shiny pants make her look like she’s wearing shiny pants. Which is a poor combination. She sounds decent enough, though, which is probably more than good enough to get through to the next round if the competition from the last few weeks is any indicator. The judges don’t like her so much, though, which I can’t completely blame them for, but it confuses me as to why they liked karaoke singer number one so much.

Alex Wagner-Trugman: The dorky one has been bulking up with very short sets of low weight. Funny guy--something about him strikes me as much smarter than most of the other contestants. I dig Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues”, but brings a little too much of a high school vibe and a tendency to oversing. It’s a strange combination of an undertalented guy overreaching in a big way. I have a hard time seeing this guy going through. The judges aren’t overly kind, either.

Ariana Afsar: What is it with the tough-to-type names this year? I mean, why isn’t there a Dave Jones or something easy? This youngster singing “Winner Take All,” one of Abba’s many hits, just makes me giggle. It doesn’t have to suck, but it does. I mean, she has a decent enough voice, the song could have been good for her, but she does a horrible job of singing the song, tries to stylize it a bit too much, and somehow managed to get out of time with the band. Not good at all. Worst of the night.

Darling girl asks, “Where are the vocal coaches? Seventeen year olds need vocal coaches.” Yeah, someone should have stopped her from this misstep.

Useless Aside: I’ve come to the conclusion that our dog, sweet and cute as she is, is both lazy and insubordinate.

Ju’not Joyner: He had one of the cutest little kids that we’ve ever seen on this show, so he obviously deserved to go through. Or something like that. “Hey There Delilah” isn’t one of my favorite songs, but I like it when he sings it. It isn’t nearly as whiny and stalkerish when he’s singing it. He isn’t a great singer, so there are a few rough spots, but it’s still a sweet little song and one of the only decent moments of the night thus far. I do wish he were just a bit of a better singer, though. The judges like him and I think the voters will, too.

Kristen MacNamara: The karaoke host seems to be running a serious brain deficit. Hasn’t Obama set forth a stimulus package for people like her? Unfortunately she’s a decent singer in a goofy, lounge act, over-done karaoke way. Which is to say I just don’t dig her singing (not her voice, but her singing) and she’ll probably be around for a while. The judges are a bit iffy on her, though, which gives me some hope for a Kristen MacNamara-free future.

Nathaniel Marshall: Too much crying, too many headbands, too much drama queen. I want him to go away purely because his personality is hideous. Choosing a Meatloaf song is kind of ballsy, though, so I have to give credit for the gutsy maneuver. Notably, I wouldn’t do anything for love, but I’d probably do that. Who knows? He actually sounds pretty good, though.

Darling girl believes that he has the gay vote, the drama queen vote, but not the hysterical pre-teen vote or the “wish he was my gay best friend” vote. According to her he isn’t cool enough of cute enough to pull in all of those crucial demographics. I think she’s probably right.

My Blog Aside: I’m a first page search result for “Government involvement/baking collapsed.” Because, apparently, ResurrectionSong is a repository of knowledge about the terrors of half-baked, government-sponsored brownies.

Felicia Barton: She’s cute. Really cute. She has a good voice, although maybe not quite as good as she thinks because parts of Alicia Keye’s song “No One” come out well and other bits come out just this side of painful. It was an uneven performance. Judges were mostly positive.

Darling girl thinks that this might be Paula’s One True Disciple.

Scott McIntyre: He does a kick-ass Art Garfunkel impression (that’s a visual thing not a vocal thing). Anyway, he has an inoffensive voice for the most part, but he sounds all sorts of bad tonight. Off key, breathless, pushing--man, I’d rather listen to Bruce Hornsby. I honestly think that the judges are being nice to him because having a blind guy make it a through will be good for ratings; that’s the only reason I can think that they weren’t far more critical of his pitiful performance. He seems a nice enough guy, but that was quite bad.

Shocking Aside: Speaking of the dog, she doesn’t like Tuvan throat singing. At least, she doesn’t like it when I’m the one doing the Tuvan throat singing. Weird dog.

Other Reality TV Aside: Jason Mesnick, that guy from The Bachelor is a real dick. Of course, the show is a bundle of idiocy, but still…

Kendall Beard: Who the heck are you and why should I care? Okay, so she’s pleasingly cute, she doesn’t sing in a horrifically bad manner, and she seems a decent enough sort. But I’m bored now. Quite bored.

Jorge Nuñez: Jorge was good--big voice, big personality, and totally not my style. Which isn’t a knock against him, just noting the fact. The judges like him, too, especially Paula who loves him with the love of a thousand mindless drones. If he doesn’t go through it’s solely because America is filled with racists.

Or something of that nature.

Lil Rounds: Okay, that was nice, even after adjusting for the goofy name and the yelly bit at the end. Yeah, if America doesn’t vote for Rounds it’s solely because America’s tweenagers are racists.

Or something of that nature.


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