Tuesday, March 09, 2010

American Idol and Other Stuff: Ladies Night, 9 Mar 2009

I’m watching American Idol. I’m working. I’m helping my wife with a computer project. I’m reading the news.

That is what should commonly be known as “stupid-tasking.” Where the hell did my ability to focus go? I kind of miss it.

Nonetheless, those of you who might have missed the

Katie Stevens is cute for a ten year old. Okay, that’s not fair. She must be at least thirteen. She sounds moderately okay in a bland and boring kind of way, but inspires a hearty eh, whatever, from me and not much else.

Randy didn’t like it much and pulled out the dreaded karaoke critique. Ouch. Ellen is nicer, but still thinks that the li’l girl couldn’t pull off the emotional aspect of the song. Kara damns with faint praise. I personally prefer to damn with harsh language. Like “damn.” Simon says: “You kind of sucked (long pause) the energy out of the room.” Or something to that effect, which was unintentionally ouchie.

Siobahn who is cute, apparently of age, quirky, and potentially not particularly bright. Or, perhaps, constantly stoned. Dunno. She’s also consistently interesting even though I didn’t find her “House of the Rising Sun” to be quite convincing tonight. I would chalk it up to trying too hard, but that’s just me.

Randy butters her up with kindness and admires her risk-taking behavior and then proclaims it “hot.” Ellen calls her spectacular. Kara digs, too. Simon says: “I wasn’t quite such a fan of that.”

Once again, Simon is the voice of reason. He is, however, extra bitchy this year.

When darling girl sees Lacey Brown , she asks, “She’s still here?” Funny moment and not a bad point: Brown hasn’t been so good to this point in the competition and certainly hasn’t lived up to her auditions. Tonight, she does pretty well--emphasis on the pretty--until a bum note at the end of the song.

Randy calls it her best performance in a long time. Ellen agrees and says it was a great song choice (I agree). Kara liked it, too. Simon says: “I didn’t love love the song, but you sang it really well.”

Nicely done.

It’s almost unfair for me to critique Katelyn Epperly performance of “I Feel the Earth Move.” ‘Cause I hate this song and even if she’s doing it well, I’m going to hate the song. So, regardless of artistic merit, sitting through it was painful for me.

Randy says it felt put on--"a little sleepy, a little boring.” Ellen doesn’t feel like being very nice, either. Kara’s not feeling the love. Simon says: “I like your hair.” But it goes down hill from there.

When Didi Benami is singing well, I absolutely love her voice. I also love her doing Stevie Nicks, who was one of my earliest and naughtiest crushes because conservative boys do so love their hippy chicks.  That said, the audience seemed a little confused…

...And so did Randy, although he liked it better than the previous week. Ellen gives her credit for bouncing back from the previous week and gives a mildly positive review. Kara says it was one of her favorite moments of the year so far--which seems a bit much to me, but I did enjoy it. Simon says: “I have to agree with Kara.”

Good for Didi.

Paige Miles goes for a subdued and ridiculously boring “Smile.” Wobbly and uninvolving, unfortunately.

Randy goes for the smack down. Ellen continues the downward smack. Kara adds in a sideways slap or two. Simon says: “Such a shame because you had so much potential...but the problem is you have no idea who you are.”

I wouldn’t be surprised to see her going home, although she’s playing the rarely played “Michael Jackson is dead” card. Which, that’s a surprise move.

I do like Crystal Bowersox in spite of her white girl dreads, which are wrong wrong wrong. Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason” is a good fit and lets her stretch her voice a bit. Not only is it fun, but it’s the first lively song of the night and she looked like she enjoyed it. Love her.

Randy gives it lots of love. Ellen and Kara, too. Simon says: “Uh, you are one million billion percent going to be in the top 12 next week.”

The world loves Bowersox.

Stupid Traitor Bitch Aside: Stupid traitor bitch. What the hell goes so wrong in her head that she decides to undertake terrorist training and commit herself to murdering a fucking cartoonist? Hate isn’t a big enough word for how I feel about Colleen “JihadJane” LaRose.

You can never go wrong with Patsy Cline. Well, almost never. “I Fall to Pieces” as sung by Lilly Scott, who had previously been one of my favorites, was surprisingly bad. Her vocals were unsteady, although the audience seemed to enjoy it.

Randy liked the mandolin and called it “hot.” Ellen, too. Which makes me wonder just how different it sounded in the theater because, no. Kara was nice about it. Simon says: “It didn’t have the wow factor.” But he doesn’t much criticize the performance, so who knows…


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