Giant Lego folk rising from the earth to enslave us.

And I had to go and put all my money on Zombies.

Darn.

I dunno. I think I’ve already seen that one.

Catchphrase. Laugh laugh laugh laugh.

What the world needs is more government officials micromanaging the war against the epicureandistrial complex. Which is why I’m so darned glad about this moment of brilliance coming to us from New York.

Some New York City chefs and restaurant owners are taking aim at a bill introduced in the New York Legislature that, if passed, would ban the use of salt in restaurant cooking.

“No owner or operator of a restaurant in this state shall use salt in any form in the preparation of any food for consumption by customers of such restaurant, including food prepared to be consumed on the premises of such restaurant or off of such premises,” the bill, A. 10129 , states in part.

The legislation, which Assemblyman Felix Ortiz , D-Brooklyn, introduced on March 5, would fine restaurants $1,000 for each violation.

Mr. Ortiz, thank God there are brave Assemblymen out there like you protecting me from the hazards of table salt.

God be with you, sir.

Read the rest.

The funniest news of the morning comes to us from AdFreak:

This is awesome. The New York Post reports that Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade for $100 million, claiming that the boyfriend-stealing “milkaholic” named Lindsay in the company’s Super Bowl commercial...from Grey Advertising was clearly modeled after her. “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E*Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Lohan’s lawyer says. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

I had been wondering where the insane little starlet had gone; it’s good to know that she hasn’t lost all her crazy.

(Okay, no, I wasn’t really wondering where the insane little starlet had gone. It just fit the flow of the narrative.)

My wife, the lovely woman that she is, has no appreciation for the classics. For example, after fifteen minutes watching Caveman streaming from my Netflix account, she stated flatly: “This might be the dumbest movie ever.”

Crazy talk. Ringo Starr has never been better (well, never been better as an actor, anyway) and neither has Shelley Long. Dennis Quaid, on the other hand, did go on to bigger and better things.

Maybe I’ll make her watch the Dudley Moore anti-classic, Wholly Moses later…

"Meanwhile, Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues her promise to run ‘the most goat-rodeo Congress in history.’”

That’s the stuff.

...that’s probably my fault.

Sorry about that.

Hey, Democrats, way to walk a righteous path!

Great job, Charlie Sheen! The first step to PR rehabilitation is, of course, rehab.

No matter what you’ve done, no matter who you’ve done it to, rehab gives you that one-size-fits-all excuse for screwing up. Even when you keep screwing up over and over and over again.

We’re proud of you for taking this first step toward a healthier, happier PR life.

Striking a blow for feminist authoritarians around the globe, Kim Kyong-Hui stands up and demands her place at the table.

You go, girl!

Just click on through...

Update II: More Twittering love from Mr. Lady, which has precisely nothing to do with nookenfreude. Just sayin’.

In particular, bless these Clash of the Titans lovin’, mythology debatin’ geeks and this mildly gnawed child.

And then play and old Carpenters song just to make the whole musical pun really come to life.

For the record, the remake of Clash of the Titans is certain to best the original in dramatic tension, violence, and special effects, but it will have none of the pure, shining fun of the original. Great movies don’t revolve around seamless CGI and glowering protagonists. Story and sense of wonder are important, too, which fact is well illustrated by movies like The Princess Bride and Harvey. Movie makers these days don’t have much of a grasp of that fact which is why Pixar really shines to me. Of course, Pixar also has groundbreakingly awesome animation…

"Run, there’s a murderer chasing you!”

The above is a real quote from Darling Girl after Manning had just completed a pass to a receiver who was about to be tackled by Ray Lewis.

The return of the VRWC can only bring an extra sprinkling of funny into our lives, so I applaud Clinton for helping the nation stay in a good state of humor.

Bill Clinton says a vast, right-wing conspiracy that once targeted him is now focusing on President Barack Obama.

I think that the vast, right-wing conspiracy that Bill Clinton is referring to--folks who want Obamas policies to fail--would be known traditionally as the Republican party. Add to them some libertarians and moderate and conservative Democrats, and, boy, that is a vast conspiracy.

Just sayin’.

Read the rest.

We have the technology, the time is now, science can wait no longer, children are our future. America can, should, must, and will blow up the moon.

Watch from about 1:20 in (and God bless Mr. Show).

When I was a boy, blowing up the moon was just a beautiful dream…

(For the embed challenged, check it out on YouTube. And this moment of hilarity brought to you by Instapundit. Fair warning: if you watch the whole thing, there are a few NSFW language here and there.

...Make sure it’s this link.

From Jerry D’s comment in the previous post. Thanks, Jerry!

I love the ad.

I’m pretty sure it’s not appropriate, but I’m just as sure that you’ll laugh. And, maybe, you’ll raise a cold Leinies, too.

Check it out.

Please tell me that this was just a joke.