Monday, April 05, 2010
Headlines That Shoulda Been
“Boobs on Display: Topless Women Shocked to Find Men Still Remarkably Focused on Breasts. For Some Reason.”
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Beautiful Pharaoh
A great little article from Shawn Macomber.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Raisin Bran ad: “With two scoops of raisins harvested at the peak of sweetness...”
Where the hell are these mythical raisin orchards? For that matter, how do you tell when a raisin is ripe? Or is Raisin Bran just a little more French than I had thought?
Ponder, my friends, ponder.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Willie Clark is Found Guilty of Murdering Darrent Williams
Like me, I’m sure that most of the Broncos faithful will feel that justice is finally being done. The only bad part is this nagging feeling that “Ponytail” Harris isn’t quite getting what he deserves. Five years in prison seems awfully light for someone who acted as an accomplice to murder.
To be fair, though, every time I think of someone coming up to a parole board, I think of one of the wonderful scenes in Raising Arizona:
I might have a skewed view of these things.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Corey Haim, RIP
Poor, stupid, little boy.
The tragedy isn’t so much that he ended up dead of a drug overdose (accidental or otherwise), but that he represents a wasted life. He couldn’t grow up enough to take responsibility for his life, he couldn’t be strong enough to stop abusing drugs, and that he threw away the friendship and opportunities that he had in his too short life.
To be honest--although not without a point--the world didn’t lose a hugely talented actor. Neither of the Coreys were great actors, they were great, fun personalities. Where Corey Feldman seems to have grown up and moved on with life, Haim just got stuck. The value of a life isn’t in how good an actor a person is, but in what they do with the years that are given them; the world didn’t lose a great actor, it just saw another person who failed to find a way to give his years any meaning.
I’m sad for the people who cared for him, but I wonder how many of them are actually surprised? I watched a part of the A&E show The Two Corey’s and knew that sooner or later he would end up dead or in jail because no matter how many chances he had, no matter who reached out to him, he had an amazing drive to self-destruction.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Misplaced Praise, Third in a Series of 562
Great job, Charlie Sheen! The first step to PR rehabilitation is, of course, rehab.
No matter what you’ve done, no matter who you’ve done it to, rehab gives you that one-size-fits-all excuse for screwing up. Even when you keep screwing up over and over and over again.
We’re proud of you for taking this first step toward a healthier, happier PR life.
Friday, February 19, 2010
TIger and His Press Conference
He says he accepts responsibility, but I don’t know that I believe him. His reading was mechanical and hit all of the contemporary celebrity apology talking points, but it was sorrow or humbleness that seemed to motivate him most; it was anger at false rumors, anger at having his family stalked by the media, anger at, as the great philosopher Adam Ant would say, “Mr. Pressman with your penknife, always asking about my sex life--and who with and how many times?”
I would say that his complaints are, at least, a little fair. It’s an odd life when you feel compelled to call a press conference to discuss your own serial infidelities. Those of us without the global brand of a Tiger Woods don’t have to face anything more, generally, than the shame of facing family and friends--a shame that can be crippling without adding the pressure of front page stories, public speculation, and the most impressive bimbo eruptions since the Clinton administration.
But that is his life and it’s a part of the price, fairly or unfairly, paid for the mansions, the adulation, and the kind of life most of us simply can’t imagine.
Instead of any kind of genuine sorrow, Tiger seemed motivated by anger that he had to walk through these very public steps and expose himself to even more examination. Sympathize if you’d like--I do, if nothing else because his actions spilled nastily over onto Elin and the rest of his family--but as an apology it just proved that it’s not always what you say, that sometimes it’s how you say it. When apologizing, it helps to truly act like you mean it.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Levi Johnston v/ Steve “VodkaPundit” Green
I’m sure that Playgirl hit a mini-gold rush with Levi Johnston and his naughty bits (the curious can see them here), but if I played on that particular team, I’d still rather see the Steve “VodkaPundit” Green issue.
So, go tell Steve to get naked. But don’t do it on the John Murtha post.
That would be wrong.
None of which changes the fact that Saturday night drinks with Molly, Mr. Lady, Steve, Roger, Robert, Jed, Billlll, LOC, Robin and his lovely wife, Cheryl, Stephen, Mark, and whoever I’m forgetting because I’m getting old was just the thing this particular stressed marketing guy was really needing. Thanks to everyone for a great time.
Monday, February 01, 2010
Please Pardon the Profanity (Updated)
Update: In fact, if I had a shred of kindness, I’d kill this post so that you never click that link. Sadly, this is one of those things so wrong that you really want to share it with everyone you know.
But don’t share it with your boss. Visually speaking, it’s work safe. The textual of the thing might give you nightmares, though.
It is a joke, though, right? Please?
Friday, January 29, 2010
I love that movie.
Anyway, I’m considering renting office space in Aurora, but I’m not entirely sure where or how much I might want to spend. Here’s the deal:
1- I need an occasional (a few days a week) desk and network access
It’s an odd set of needs. Most “executive office” rental services are far more than I need or want (and correspondingly pricey), but I am looking for a few things that make it tougher (like furnishings). I’m not really sure what a fair price would be, but I do know I would prefer to stay on the southeast side of Denver. If anyone has contacts with space that might fit my needs--or any specific knowledge of how to go about looking--I would appreciate your ideas.
On an entirely different note: thanks to Gnus from Aardvarks & Asshats for linking the Zomby translation of the SOTU address. I love it when that happens.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Spelling Out My Own Preferences
Consider: Healing touch on the one hand; bandages, antibiotics, and a little actual medical expertise on the other.
Monday, January 11, 2010
My flight was cancelled. My new flight doesn’t take off until later this afternoon. Much later. I’m stuck at the airport.
Which, if it weren’t for my ridiculous willingness to spend fifty bucks on a day pass to United’s Red Carpet Lounge--where I get comfortable seats, a bar, free wifi, and a general sense of peace--I would be an unhappy camper.
As it is, though, I’m sort of enjoying my strandedness. Go figure.
I wonder if I can expense this…
Friday, January 08, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Casey Johnson Dead
A ridiculously stupid end to a wasted, useless life. The only real question is how ridiculously stupid the end was. Drug overdose? Suicide?
Why, yes, this is a cranky start to the new year. Why do you ask?
Friday, January 01, 2010
1/3 Less Employable Than the Less Tattoo-ey Applicant
This bodes ill for my professional future.
While I wouldn’t say that my tattoos are particularly big, I wouldn’t call them small, either. Of course, with long sleeves and a jacket, you’d hardly even notice how unemployable I am…
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
FREE Mac Software
Because, damnit, I want that license to Mariner Write.
Sadly, I might be overestimating the reach of this site. Crazy Zomby.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Fort Hood Tragedy: Good Advice from Michael Yon
From a short blog post on the Corner:
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Friday, October 02, 2009
Kevin Smith Gets a Moment of Love
There are things about the man that drive me bonkers (Mallrats, for instance), but here’s to Kevin smith for a very simple message about Roman Polanski:
Good on ya, Mr. Smith.
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