Monday, April 05, 2010

Headlines That Shoulda Been

“Boobs on Display: Topless Women Shocked to Find Men Still Remarkably Focused on Breasts. For Some Reason.”

Ty McDowell, who organized the march, said she was “enraged” by the turnout of men attracted to the demonstration. The purpose, she said, was for society to have the same reaction to a woman walking around topless as it does to men without shirts on.

Read the rest.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Blame Sama

My blog “sounds” significantly different from the SamaBlog.


Friday, March 19, 2010

The Beautiful Pharaoh

A great little article from Shawn Macomber.

“But Aapep, why did you not show the pharaoh as he is, slender and with abs like a board of washing?”

Why, indeed.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Raisin Bran ad: “With two scoops of raisins harvested at the peak of sweetness...”

Where the hell are these mythical raisin orchards? For that matter, how do you tell when a raisin is ripe? Or is Raisin Bran just a little more French than I had thought?

Ponder, my friends, ponder.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Willie Clark is Found Guilty of Murdering Darrent Williams

Like me, I’m sure that most of the Broncos faithful will feel that justice is finally being done. The only bad part is this nagging feeling that “Ponytail” Harris isn’t quite getting what he deserves. Five years in prison seems awfully light for someone who acted as an accomplice to murder.

To be fair, though, every time I think of someone coming up to a parole board, I think of one of the wonderful scenes in Raising Arizona:

Parole Board chairman: They’ve got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called “recidivism.”
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That’s one bonehead name, but that ain’t me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You’re not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: ‘Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn’t we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

I might have a skewed view of these things.

Read the rest.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Corey Haim, RIP

Poor, stupid, little boy.

The tragedy isn’t so much that he ended up dead of a drug overdose (accidental or otherwise), but that he represents a wasted life. He couldn’t grow up enough to take responsibility for his life, he couldn’t be strong enough to stop abusing drugs, and that he threw away the friendship and opportunities that he had in his too short life.

To be honest--although not without a point--the world didn’t lose a hugely talented actor. Neither of the Coreys were great actors, they were great, fun personalities. Where Corey Feldman seems to have grown up and moved on with life, Haim just got stuck. The value of a life isn’t in how good an actor a person is, but in what they do with the years that are given them; the world didn’t lose a great actor, it just saw another person who failed to find a way to give his years any meaning.

I’m sad for the people who cared for him, but I wonder how many of them are actually surprised? I watched a part of the A&E show The Two Corey’s and knew that sooner or later he would end up dead or in jail because no matter how many chances he had, no matter who reached out to him, he had an amazing drive to self-destruction.

Poor, stupid, little boy.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Misplaced Praise, Third in a Series of 562

Great job, Charlie Sheen! The first step to PR rehabilitation is, of course, rehab.

No matter what you’ve done, no matter who you’ve done it to, rehab gives you that one-size-fits-all excuse for screwing up. Even when you keep screwing up over and over and over again.

We’re proud of you for taking this first step toward a healthier, happier PR life.

Friday, February 19, 2010

TIger and His Press Conference

He says he accepts responsibility, but I don’t know that I believe him. His reading was mechanical and hit all of the contemporary celebrity apology talking points, but it was sorrow or humbleness that seemed to motivate him most; it was anger at false rumors, anger at having his family stalked by the media, anger at, as the great philosopher Adam Ant would say, “Mr. Pressman with your penknife, always asking about my sex life--and who with and how many times?”

I would say that his complaints are, at least, a little fair. It’s an odd life when you feel compelled to call a press conference to discuss your own serial infidelities. Those of us without the global brand of a Tiger Woods don’t have to face anything more, generally, than the shame of facing family and friends--a shame that can be crippling without adding the pressure of front page stories, public speculation, and the most impressive bimbo eruptions since the Clinton administration.

But that is his life and it’s a part of the price, fairly or unfairly, paid for the mansions, the adulation, and the kind of life most of us simply can’t imagine.

Instead of any kind of genuine sorrow, Tiger seemed motivated by anger that he had to walk through these very public steps and expose himself to even more examination. Sympathize if you’d like--I do, if nothing else because his actions spilled nastily over onto Elin and the rest of his family--but as an apology it just proved that it’s not always what you say, that sometimes it’s how you say it. When apologizing, it helps to truly act like you mean it.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Levi Johnston v/ Steve “VodkaPundit” Green

I’m sure that Playgirl hit a mini-gold rush with Levi Johnston and his naughty bits (the curious can see them here), but if I played on that particular team, I’d still rather see the Steve “VodkaPundit” Green issue.

So, go tell Steve to get naked. But don’t do it on the John Murtha post.

That would be wrong.

None of which changes the fact that Saturday night drinks with Molly, Mr. Lady, Steve, Roger, Robert, Jed, Billlll, LOC, Robin and his lovely wife, Cheryl, Stephen, Mark, and whoever I’m forgetting because I’m getting old was just the thing this particular stressed marketing guy was really needing. Thanks to everyone for a great time.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Please Pardon the Profanity (Updated)

But that is seriously fucked up.

Update: In fact, if I had a shred of kindness, I’d kill this post so that you never click that link. Sadly, this is one of those things so wrong that you really want to share it with everyone you know.

But don’t share it with your boss. Visually speaking, it’s work safe. The textual of the thing might give you nightmares, though.

It is a joke, though, right? Please?

Friday, January 29, 2010

Office Space

I love that movie.

Anyway, I’m considering renting office space in Aurora, but I’m not entirely sure where or how much I might want to spend. Here’s the deal:

1- I need an occasional (a few days a week) desk and network access
2- I would like access to a printer and fax machine, but use both of them rarely
3- I don’t need phone service or an answering service
4- I don’t need mail services
5- I need very irregular access to a small meeting room
6- I need occasional odd-hours access (some weekends and some nights)
7- Nice neighbors and a fairly casual environment

It’s an odd set of needs. Most “executive office” rental services are far more than I need or want (and correspondingly pricey), but I am looking for a few things that make it tougher (like furnishings). I’m not really sure what a fair price would be, but I do know I would prefer to stay on the southeast side of Denver. If anyone has contacts with space that might fit my needs--or any specific knowledge of how to go about looking--I would appreciate your ideas.

On an entirely different note: thanks to Gnus from Aardvarks & Asshats for linking the Zomby translation of the SOTU address. I love it when that happens.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Spelling Out My Own Preferences

Consider: Healing touch on the one hand; bandages, antibiotics, and a little actual medical expertise on the other.

When offered a choice, I would personally prefer the latter.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Stranded Zomby…

My flight was cancelled. My new flight doesn’t take off until later this afternoon. Much later. I’m stuck at the airport.

Which, if it weren’t for my ridiculous willingness to spend fifty bucks on a day pass to United’s Red Carpet Lounge--where I get comfortable seats, a bar, free wifi, and a general sense of peace--I would be an unhappy camper.

As it is, though, I’m sort of enjoying my strandedness. Go figure.

I wonder if I can expense this…

Friday, January 08, 2010

We’re Number 1: The Alcoholic Edition

We here at ResurrectionSong are currently the number 1 Google search result for “My life would suck without booze.”

And it’s all American Idol’s fault.

My mother would be so proud.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Casey Johnson Dead

A ridiculously stupid end to a wasted, useless life. The only real question is how ridiculously stupid the end was. Drug overdose? Suicide?

Why, yes, this is a cranky start to the new year. Why do you ask?

Friday, January 01, 2010

1/3 Less Employable Than the Less Tattoo-ey Applicant

This bodes ill for my professional future.

One-third of DenverBusinessJournal.com readers who responded to our latest Business Pulse question said they wouldn’t hire a worker with tattoos—even if they were small.

While I wouldn’t say that my tattoos are particularly big, I wouldn’t call them small, either. Of course, with long sleeves and a jacket, you’d hardly even notice how unemployable I am…

Read the rest.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

FREE Mac Software

Okay, I’m trusting that I can help direct about a quarter million hits to MacHeist over the next 24 hours, all of whom register and download all the free loot.

Because, damnit, I want that license to Mariner Write.

Sadly, I might be overestimating the reach of this site. Crazy Zomby.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Fort Hood Tragedy: Good Advice from Michael Yon

From a short blog post on the Corner:

First reports are notoriously wrong.  The shooter already has been killed then resurrected by the media.  Some media are in a frenzy and so the reports are particularly untrustworthy at this time.  Now is not a time to psychoanalyze the attacker by using a media-supplied telescope that already said he was dead, and that there were multiple attackers.  Media: STOP, please.  There will be time to pursue answers and justice after Christmas.  We must remember that family members lost loved ones just before the holidays.  Justice and answers will come with time.

Absolutely right.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Do I Know…

...Anyone who works for Verio or who has strong connections at Verio?

If so, let me know.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Kevin Smith Gets a Moment of Love

There are things about the man that drive me bonkers (Mallrats, for instance), but here’s to Kevin smith for a very simple message about Roman Polanski:

Look, I dig ROSEMARY’S BABY; but rape’s rape. Do the crime, do the time.

Good on ya, Mr. Smith.


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