Just click click click on through for something mighty funny.

No, that’s not the amount of my own, personal bailout check from Uncle Sugar (pity); it’s the newly revised Zimbabwean inflation rate.

imbabwe’s annual inflation rate - already the world’s highest - has soared to 231,000,000%, newly released official figures for July show.

The rise - from 11,200,000% last month - was largely due to increases in the prices of bread and cereals.

A landmark power-sharing deal between President Robert Mugabe and opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai has failed to ease the country’s economic crisis.

Ouch.

I’ve been so involved in watching our own nation’s political scrum that I’ve neglected to write about the situation in Zimbabwe. I’ll try to rectify that in the near future with a piece that I’ve had in my head for a number of weeks about why we can’t expect Zimbabwe’s power-sharing deal to work--and why if it does work, we should worry for the MDC.

There ain’t no justice for Zimbabwe, is there?

For now, though, read the story.

"McCain 2 Old” Billboard in Cleveland

Apparently, this is what the left considers relevant political discourse:

I saw this billboard on my drive to work this morning. It is located on I-77 North just south of Cleveland (immediatley before the I-490/I-71 split). It is located so that everyone driving in to Cleveland from the South will see it. The picture isn’t great because I took the picture with my camera phone as I drove by in the far left lane. Here is the full picture:

I’ll let this picture speak for itself.

Click here for the full resolution version.

Pelosi wants another government handout--this time it will go directly into the pockets of regular citizens instead of into the bad paper collected by big financial organizations. To which I say, “Thanks! Keep that free money comin’.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Wednesday during a trip to Denver that an economic stimulus plan of $150 billion is needed now because of the faltering economy and she may call the House into session after the election to pass it.

Pelosi told reporters that the stock market meltdown, which has caused an estimated $2 trillion loss from pension funds, was a factor in her recommendation for a second stimulus bill. The first relief plan sent out $600-$1,200 tax rebate checks to most individuals and couples this year.

Dig this: why am I making out so good in this equation (and in that earlier $600 handout)? Easy. Not only is that money not likely to come out of my taxes--my tax money will be busy paying for other bits of the deficit until the day I die. Those handouts are coming out of our children’s pockets. Or, to be more specific, your children’s pockets.

Every time the government sends me a handout in a year where we’re running a deficit, that’s money stolen from your kids.

Cool, huh?

All I can say is, “Thanks faceless, nameless masses for your contribution to my continued XBox and good booze addictions.”

Read the Rest...

Ash of course. In fact, I don’t think you can even make a good case for the Headless Horseman.

I mean, compared to, say, a whole army of darkness, the HH would be easier than dealing with a single rogue witch in the hallowed halls of S-Mart. While Ash may not be the smartest guy of all time, he certainly seems to have luck on his side. No matter how much he bumbled along, luck would swoop in and guide him to victory.

If this were back in the glory days of Grudge Match, I would have to build an entire scenario to illustrate my point. Sadly, those days are gone so what you get is this: duh.

PS- If you don’t know Grudge Match, allow me to introduce you via John McClane v/ the Death Star. If you knew where to look, you’d even be able to find a little surprise…

Just when you though the city of Akron couldn’t get more crazy, we now have Devo coming to save the day:

In the final month of this historic presidential race, the band DEVO is making an urgent trip to their native Akron, Ohio to rally for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

God save us all…
(Or Sarah Palin, if he’s busy.)

(Hat tip to the Weekly Standard Blog)

Don’t forget to check out Steve Green’s drunkblogging of the fun. Always brilliant. And the Gay Patriot’s puppy blogging is funny, too.

Question: The economy sucks. Help me Obamy wan Barracky, you’re my only hope.

Obama: Well, it’s all Bush’s fault. Except for where it’s McCain’s fault. And except for where it’s Wall Street’s fault. Vote me.

McCain: Read my lips: “No new taxes.” And keep our money here instead of giving it to the bad guys. I love your house and I’ll do everything I can to make sure you keep it. I’m not Bush.

Question: Who will replace Paulson ("The Evil One")?

McCain: I’m not good with jokes. Laugh anyway, please. Not sure, but I have some good ideas.

Obama: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I don’t know either, but eat the rich. And, seriously, I’m going to give you a tax cut. I mean it. Seriously.

Question: What the hell is with the bailout package? What the hell did you people do to us and our freakin’ money?

McCain: Bailout? No way, man, rescue. Think some happy thoughts and it will be okay. By the way, did you know that the sub-prime crisis was the Democrats’ fault and I tried to stop it? Fannie and Freddie aren’t your friends, but I am--and Obama is buddies with those bastards.

Obama: Totally, yeah, rescue. Money for everyone, which is nice. And, it was not my fault and Senator McCain is a big poopy head. Deregulation was the problem, not bad loans to people who couldn’t pay back all that bad paper. If we kept everything properly regulated all of those bad loans would have...umm, never mind. I don’t like Fannie and Freddie, either. Look, after all my pointing of fingers, I know you aren’t interested in pointing fingers, so…

Question: Obama, are you saying things are going to get worse before they get better?

Obama: No way, everything is fine. Except that things are worse now than at any time since the Great Depression and you should all be scared.

Question: McCain?

McCain: Things could get worse if we don’t make the right choices. Workers are strong--and, it was too the sub-prime stuff--and if we give them a good environment to fix the problem they will.

Obama: I don’t trust you with our money. Not sure I have a real question, I’m just pissed.

Obama: There’s a lot of blame to go around. Especially for the Republicans. I mean, no one is innocent, but the Republicans are bad. Really bad. But trust me to spend your money on big new entitlement programs, which will be fine because I’ll find something or other to cut in the budget, too. Promise.

McCain: There’s a lot of blame to go around. Especially for people who aren’t me. Including Obama. I point fingers at both parties.And since Obama hasn’t, you know, done anything yet, I want you to focus on records rather than rhetoric. Obama wants 860 billion in new spending--which is way more than the abomination of a bailout and pork rescue package. And Obama spends money stupidly. Offshore drilling. So there.

Questions: Health, energy, entitlement reform: priorities?

McCain: All three at once. All are important. Entitlement reform is vital because our economy can’t take the bruising if we keep going this way. Nuclear power plants and alternative fuels are cool, too. And remember that I’m the bipartisan one. Very very bipartisan. Which is good because these are all national security concerns, too.

Obama: No way, man, we have to have priorities. Energy is really important. So I’m going to spend some money on that. Health is important, too. And I don’t actually like earmarks. That are coming from others. Because it’s always vital when I do it. And McCain is going to raise your taxes and give money to rich people. Eat the rich.

Question: What sacrifices will you ask us to make to fix America’s problems?

McCain: We’re going to have to eliminate some programs. We’re going to have to prune those programs--including bad defense deals--that aren’t working. Obama asked for a really expensive overhead projector, remember, and that’s just dumb. Let’s cut spending and stop being dumb: spending freeze outside of vital programs, transparency, consulting with folks like you, and, read my lips, “No new earmarks!” We can so tackle all these problems right now.

Obama: Remember 9/11 and all of that coming together stuff? Yeah, Bush screwed up that particular kumbaya moment by not asking Americans to do more for the country. So I’m going to ask Americans to do more for the country. And, by the way, I love oil. And clean coal. And, maybe, nuclear stuff, too. Always have, always will. Buy American! Shout out to the young people!

Question: Not really. This is actually a personal potty break.

Returned: In case you were wondering.

Question: How the hell serious are you about dealing with entitlement programs?

Obama: Pretty serious. Maybe not as serious as you. Pretty serious, though. Straight talk express lost a wheel a few moments ago, though, so eat the rich. If I tell everyone that I won’t raise taxes often enough, maybe they’ll believe me. Did I just say that out loud? And I love small businesses more than McCain does. McCain loves big companies and it isn’t fair. Don’t forget that all of the problems facing the United States are President Bush’s fault. Except for where they are McCain’s fault.

McCain: I’ll actually answer the question. Yes, I’m as serious as you. Gipper! Obama doesn’t reach across the aisle. I do. No problem on Social Security. Medicare could be a bigger one, though. But if we get creative and hold congress to the wheel, we’ll get some results. And don’t forget that Obama votes for tax increases and votes against tax decreases and that’s the truth from the straight talk express. So there.

Question: McCain, how do you keep congress moving with a purpose? I mean, like they did when they saw $700 billion floating around like a free freakin’ drugs?

McCain: Climate change. Nuclear power. It’s safe, it’s clean, it creates jobs, we can re-process, let’s move forward. I’m the real green candidate. What was the question?

Obama: This is another one of the biggest challenges of our time: finding a way to say what McCain said without saying what McCain said. Oh, yeah, that’s right: money. I’ll spend more money than him. I do too like nuclear power. McCain hates the environment secretly and votes against alternative energy all the time. Seriously. Drilling is okay, but we can’t just drill our way out of the problem. Have I said that before? At least I’m not calling myself the freakin’ maverick all the time.

Commentary: Move it along, guys.

Question: Manhattan project or silicon valley to solve the problem?

McCain: Mixed, you know. A little bit of both. And just so you know, when I vote against stuff it’s because there’s a ton of other crap loaded onto the bill. So there. Drilling will help us get from here (dependence) to there (independence). God bless nuclear power.

Question: Tell me about Ayers and Wright.

Heheheh. Just kidding.

Question: Is health care a commodity? Should it be?

Obama: I feel your pain. You’re being crushed under the weight of the lack of my intrusion in your health care plans. So, here’s how I’m going to solve that problem for you: I’m going to spend you into health and happiness. McCain is going to raise your taxes. Don’t forget that.

McCain: Yeah, some of his ideas are okay, but I don’t think that government and mandates are the solution to this particular problem. My plan gives every American a tax break and portability--and that’s way better than mandates. 95% of you will pay the same or less. I’m still not good with jokes, though. Please laugh.

Question: Privilege, right, or responsibility?

McCain: Responsibility on lots of levels. Like

Obama: It’s a right. Everyone should get health care. We’re the wealthiest nation on the planet, so why can’t we afford health care for all. Senator McCain lies. Don’t trust him. I won’t mandate anything and I won’t be mean to anyone who doesn’t need it. Honest. Portability sucks. Government works. Trust the government to solve this problem for you.

Question: With the economy tanking, how can the US be the peacemaker that it needs to be.

McCain: Good question. Without a strong economy, you can’t have a strong military, and we can’t be that force. But I believe in the wise use of our military to answer this question--which is good because what was that question? I love my country, the military, and my own damned mavericky self.

Obama: McCain thinks I don’t understand. Which is true since I don’t understand why someone hasn’t whacked Osama and why we invaded Iraq. His judgement sucks. Don’t trust him with the military. Trust me. I mean, I didn’t actually mean that thing about our military bombing villages and killing babies or whatever the hell it is that I said--I love the military and all of those honorable bastards who are bombing villages and killing babies or whatever the hell it is that I said. And, anyway, why aren’t we bombing villages and killing babies in Darfur instead of Iraq?

Question: Obama or McCain doctrine for use of force outside of national security issues at stake?

Obama: Moral issues are as big as national security issues, so we should commit troops wherever and whenever possible when bad things are happening except for those times when I’m not so sure about what the hell I’m talking about because I don’t actually have an “Obama Doctrine” do I? And that’s what I intend to do when I’m president.

McCain: Obama wanted to wave the white flag and I didn’t. No defeat for me, buddy. We must do whatever we can to prevent genocide and bad stuff as long as we understand the limits of our own capabilities. The first question: can we have some beneficial effect on the situation? Gipper! I’m better at this part than Obama. Big time.

Question: Should the US respect Pakistani sovereignty or should we violate the borders when going after bad guys?

Obama: That’s a tough question and it’s Bush’s fault. In case you were wondering. And the Taliban is stronger than they were in 2001--you know, before we kicked them out of power and knocked them around a bit. And, yes, I will violate that border if I get the chance to kill Obama--I totally don’t respect their sovereignty.

McCain: So, Obama is announcing that he’s going to invade Pakistan even while he’s trying to get them to play nice with us. That sounds like a good idea to you? Please. Anyway, walk softly, carry a big stick, and let’s put things in place that will help us beat the Taliban without having to threaten Pakistan. K?

Obama: I am totally butting in. Look, I want to be very clear: I don’t want to invade Pakistan regardless of what I’ve said in the past. I like mixed messages. The mixier the better. Senator McCain thinks I’m green behind the ears for some reason--remember: bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran. And, anyway, this is all Bush’s fault except for where it is McCain’s fault. And, no, I’m not losing my temper. Why do you ask?

McCain: Dude, you said you’d attack Pakistan. Dude. I’ll do what I need to do, I’ll act responsible, and I’ll get Osama, but I’m not going to telegraph my punches. And that Iran thing was a joke. Get a life.

Question: Afghanistan? What’s up with that?

Obama: Iraq. It’s all because Iraq, damnit. I’ll leave Iraq, put the troops in Afghanistan, and then tell the Afghani government to do a better job.

McCain: Help me Petraeus wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope. And, anyway, Obama isn’t wrong about all of it. Just some of it. The important bits.

Question: Cold War? What’s up with that?

McCain: There is no new war coming, so don’t worry too much about that. Putin...eyes...K...G...B--you fill in the missing bits. Russia isn’t behaving and we have to support Georgia and the Ukraine, we have to hold Russia accountable, and we have to think about NATO membership for some of our friends over there. But a small spanking doesn’t a Cold War make.

Obama: Well, ehhhhhhhhh, Russia is a country. It’s a big country. Yeah, moral support to people is good, Money is better. Let’s give them money and that should solve a lot of the problems. Not sure how much money, but money. That’s the answer. In fact, if I were to think about it, money seems to be my answer to most things. And the next Commander in Chief should be far more psychic than the current administration. I’m psychic. You can tell by the halo.

Question: Gipper! Evil empire?

Obama: No, but they sure do a lot of evil stuff.

McCain: Maybe. I don’t think we need to get into that war of words stuff, but we need to hold the Russkis accountable.

Question: Israel: if Iran attacks, would you immediately defend them or would you wait for the UN to green light it?

McCain: UN? Oh, hell no. Not that Russia would let us do anything in the UN Security Council anyway.  And, yeah, we better pay attention to that, folks.

Obama: I won’t let the UN veto us in acting in our own interests. But we shouldn’t really let ourselves get drawn into a situation like that--which is why I think we should invade Pakistan. If I ramble enough maybe I’ll sound like I have a serious answer and I won’t have to directly answer that whole thing about meeting with bad guys without precondition. And it’s all Bush’s fault. Don’t forget that.

Question: What don’t you know and how will you learn it?

Obama: I’m totally funnier than McCain. I’m going to ramble and not actually answer the question, but I’m going to avoid answering it in a really thoughtful and inspirational way. Because let’s be honest, joking aside, I know it all so why should I pass up on an opportunity to bash the current administration. Hope. Hope with me, my people.

McCain: I don’t know what all of us don’t know: what comes next. I’m totally not psychic. We’re facing a difficult future and I don’t know what to expect next. But I’ve spent my life serving the country, I’ve served through hard times, and I believe in this country’s future and greatness. I am honored to serve and I would like to continue to serve. Vote me.

1. Broncos Find a Defense. The same crew that made KC look like offensive powerhouses last week somehow held Tampa to two field goals over the course of 58 minutes of game play. And they did it by getting pressure on the quarterback, sacking the quarterback, and playing strong against the run. Tampa’s per rush average was good (6.3 yards per carry), but that doesn’t count the times that the Bucs came up empty on third and short through much of the game.
2. Did They Even Pass on Champ? I know that through much of the first half, the Bucs failed to attempt a pass in Champ Bailey’s direction. Does anyone know if that held throughout the game? I can’t remember. Bailey is having an interesting season. With so few passes against him, he hasn’t made the splashy interceptions or big hits (except when he cheats up for run support--in which case he’s been nothing short of spectacular); but he’s shut down a good chunk of the field every games. He changes the game just by showing up. I wonder if that’s enough to get him into the Pro Bowl this year?
3. They Picked a Good Time to Show Up. Speaking of the Broncos’ D, it’s a damned good thing they showed up today. The offense was something close to pedestrian. It was nice to see Brandon Stokley have such a solid day, though (six catches for 52 yards and a touchdown). He’s far more talented than some people realize and when Royal went down with an ankle injury the passing game didn’t much suffer.
4. Jane Smiley is, Indeed, an Idiot. And Steve Green has the proof.
5. A Musical Abomination. During today’s game, Toyota ran an ad (over and over again, damnit) using the Fixx’s song “Saved by Zero"--a remade, re-imagined, totally screwed up version of the song. In fact, the first time I heard it, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was listening to; it was the second time that the ad came on that I fully realized the horror of what had been done. Presented here is a short playlist of songs from the Fixx that you might remember if you are of a certain age. It doesn’t change Toyota’s screw up, but at least you might enjoy the trip down 80’s Pop Lane.
   
6. Sometimes Turnovers Kill, Sometimes They Don’t. One of the Broncos’ big problems last week was the turnovers. Between the two ugly fumbles, Cutler’s pair of bad passes, and the Chiefs the Chief’s aggressive defense, the turnovers hurt bad. Not only did the Broncos take better care of the ball today, but their one turnover didn’t much hurt.
7. That is Some Serious Free-Range Stupidity. Some days it seems that common sense is dead in the U.S. Know what I mean?
8. More Stupidity. No, I don’t care if Biden is sporting a little Botox. I do care about fundraising irregularities in the Obama camp, but a little potential vanity on Biden’s part doesn’t quite reach me as a serious voting issue.
9. What’s With Passing on Third and Short? Last week and this week the Broncos attempted passes on third and short (one or two yards to go) in important situations where grinding out a few first downs could mean a lot in the game. I like the confidence in the passing game, I like the bold play calling through much of the rest of the game, but with a guy like Pittman in the backfield it wouldn’t hurt to use the ground game to control the clock and the pace of the game. And, yeah, I’d probably be saying something very different if they hadn’t failed to convert.
10. In Case You Missed it... I do care about fundraising irregularities. It’s not a make or break issue (generally), but it matters.
11. Yeah, Olbermann is an Ass. See what I mean? To be fair, though, I did think that Lowry’s commentary was a bit over the top and the idea of O’Reilly as a debate moderator is laughable. Just sayin’.
12. A Win is a Win. It wasn’t the most exciting and it wasn’t the prettiest, but it was actually a pretty strong win today for the Broncos. Especially since San Diego and the Chiefs both lost today. The Raiders didn’t fall any further behind, but I have to wonder how they’ll respond to their mid-season coaching change. My guess is that it won’t be pretty.

Fannie Mae plays nice with suicidal, old woman. Which is nice for her.

I wonder if we’ll see a rash of copycat near-suicides from folks wanting mortgage relief?

I enjoyed seeing JaMarcus Russell reacted remarkably well to the (not entirely unexpected) firing of Raiders former head coach, Lane Kiffin, and the controversy that Al Davis tried to stir up by trying to drive a wedge between Kiffin and Russell. It helped confirm my belief that the biggest thing wrong with the Raiders is the hag of an owner that has driven the team into the dirt.

Russell did not watch the televised news conference announcing Kiffin’s firing and acknowledged he was disappointed by the move. He also defended Kiffin’s decision to bring him along slowly as a quarterback, a move that has been criticized as the Raiders got off to a slow start this year.

“Hey, with the mistakes I made in the Jacksonville game [last season], if I had gotten out there early, at the beginning of the season, things would have been flying a little faster for me and who’s to say, I might have did a lot worse,” Russell said. “I appreciate his time sitting me down. I learned a lot from it, and once I got out there, everything kind of slowed down for me.

“I appreciate the opportunity he gave me to play in the National Football League. I wish for him to go out and get him a job, because he’s a good guy, a good coach. I don’t look for him to sit around long; he should be able to get a job somewhere.”

It speaks well for the man that he refused to allow himself to be drawn into the controversy and he had only good things to say about his former coach. I can’t yet say whether he’ll be a great quarterback for the team, but it would seem that he has the right attitude for them to build a team around.

Read the rest.

Palin looks uncomfortable and a little nervous. And I hate it when either Palin or McCain refer to themselves as mavericks. That’s pushing a little uncomfortably to try to set a tone, but it’s doing it through repetitionUnfo not through action.

Palin, taking the second question, looks a little more comfortable talking about the sub-prime meltdown. She puts the banks in her sites, but then she tells us that we, as citizens need to be more responsible. Which, yeah.

When Biden talks about the problem with the sub-prime crisis being one of too much deregulation, I get cranky. The problem is rarely deregulation, it’s poor regulation and bad legislation that is, for some reason, called deregulation. Need to talk about that later. Palin, in her response, is starting to sound better and hitting Obama and Biden on tax policy is always fun to me.

I like it when she gets more aggressive.

Biden still thinks that rich people should be taxed out of proportion with the rest of the citizenry. Unfortunately, that might be a strong selling point for a lot of people.

Being a conservative, I like hearing Palin talk about economy and monetary philosophy. McCain and Palin may not be the most fiscally conservative, but when either Biden or Obama talks about how they are going to build a ton of new programs for me while delivering a tax break to 95% of Americans, I want to scream. Every word seems like a lie.

Now Biden seems a little flustered--especially when Palin points out that Obama voted tax breaks for oil companies, too, and that Palin is the one with the history of taking on those oil companies. Biden can keep talking about how patriotic it is for people to give more money to the government, but Palin can talk about what she has actually done in this specific arena.

Aside: abandoning Michigan? I wouldn’t do it and I’m not sure why McCain would concede there. The money is there and so is an audience that might turn right under the right conditions.

It’s fun watching them obliquely blame each other for the sub-prime crisis.

Wait, wait...why should a bankruptcy court be allowed to adjust the principle owed by people on their mortgage. No. No. No. And again I say, no.

Now, to energy independence. Drill. Mine. Plan for the future. Biden opposes coal (even cleaner technologies) and both of them have been pretty consistently strong against things like off-shore drilling. Another area where I tend to agree with the McCain-Palin side of things--and the irrational hatred of coal is tremendously self-destructive. Another topic I think I’ll hit on in the next few days.

Biden is now talking in positive terms about clean coal. Really? When he says that he has “always supported clean coal” he’s simply lying. His words from just over a week ago: “"We’re not supporting clean coal.” China is building coal plants to support its growing economy but, Mr. Biden said, “No coal plants here in America. Build them, if they are going to build them, over there.”

And you know what? I don’t want big government money going toward clean energy sources--the market is starting to take care of those things all on its lonesome and it doesn’t need my tax money to make sure that a positive future happens.

Gay rights is one area where I would probably agree more with Obama and Biden than with Palin. But it’s a pretty thin line between the two, I think, and it’s not even close to being one of my most important issues. And when it comes to gay marriage, I end up to the left of all these folks. So, yeah…

Kumbaya.

Biden keeps telling us about fundamental differences. Which is a little irritating after a bit.

Palin brings out the gut-shot quotes from Biden pre-VP pick and I love it. I’m easy that way.

Fundamental.

Biden’s idea that the central front in the war on terror is in the hills between Afghanistan and Pakistan doesn’t fit in well with what I believe the war needs to achieve, but that’s very possibly a fundamentally different view on exactly what we are trying to achieve in Iraq. That would require a few hours of conversation all by itself, though, wouldn’t it?

Palin is picking up steam as she goes along. Biden is advocating for his side well, though, too. Palin, though, is speaking to me and many of my beliefs about war, about radical Islam, about diplomacy, about the economy, and more.

I think that almost everyone agrees--with the exception of fringe groups--that a two state solution is the only path to peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Of course, finding a way to make that happen will be far more difficult than the accusations that are made and the sound bites thrown out during a debate.

Aside: The original--and still the best--drunkblogger.

Palin is definitely holding her own, but I don’t know that she’s winning this debate. From a contextual standpoint of the last two weeks of underwhelming performances, she’s certainly doing better. But that doesn’t mean winning, does it?

Aside: For more Palin fun, check out Macomber’s links. One is a good little article and one is a fun little toy.

A funny little thing that girl just brought up: Biden talks with big crankiness about the Bush pre-emptive war stuff--but he wants to go into countries that haven’t attacked us, probably aren’t going to attack us, and commit military resources to political goals. Same goal, different targets.

From Steve’s drunk stuff (see link above), two things that caught my eye, too:

8:10PM “I agree in essence with every major proposal he’s suggested …” That’s Biden on Obama. Palin on McCain? “He’s never asked me to check my opinions at the door.”

8:09PM Biden says if Obama died it would be “a national catastrophe of historic proportions.” We’ve never had a president die in office before?

Gipper!

I love the Gipper moments, you know.

Out of curiosity, how can you put Obama’s record as an agent of change against anyone else’s? He doesn’t have a record in a political sense.

The mavericky war!

Anyway, I think they both did a good job--in fact, I think they both did better than McCain and Obama managed. I don’t know if either of them is going to change anyone’s minds, though: is there anything between them that really surprised anyone or broke out of the typical left-right talking points? Not sure. Neither of them succumbed to the potential negatives of their own personalities or capabilities, so no one seemed to come out too terribly bloodied.

And one last thought: I know and understand why the right was upset about Ifill (and I hated it when she played the race card), but she did a fine job. The questions were solid, she seemed to treat them both fairly and impartially. There is no doubt where her sympathies lie, but if you weren’t aware of that previous to the debate would you know it at the end? I don’t think so.

Has it struck anyone else that Nancy Pelosi is (spiritually) the very twin of Kyle’s mom?

Just sayin’…

Travis Henry, a talented running back and a ridiculously dumb human being, is facing a new round of legal problems.

Former Broncos running back Travis Henry was arrested yesterday along with an accomplice for a large cocaine sale out of Centennial, according to federal authorities.

Charges were filed against Henry and James Mack this morning in U.S. District Court in Denver, according to a news release by Jeffrey D. Sweetin, Special Agent in Charge of the Rocky Mountain Division of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

Not content to screw himself out of his football career, Henry is now moving on to bigger and better screw-ups.

Fool.

Read the story.

1. I fell for it. The trailers made it look funny, I thought it might contain insight. I imagined it might reign in the preaching in favor of a balanced view of the Middle East, America, terrorists, and war in Afghanistan and Iraq. I fell for it.
2. What it is turns out to be a shallow, rushed look at problems far too complex for any 93-minute movie much less one helmed by the likes of Mr. Spurlock, who disdains nuance in favor of glib and useless statements.
3. It does have a lot of pretty pictures, though.
4. And, in spite of itself, it’s interesting at moments--moments that are chopped too short by the rush to get to the next segment. Beware: when it starts to pique your interest it is seconds away from a jump cut and a cutesy graphic that will leave you wondering what the hell else his interview subject had to say.
5. In fact, the bits where Spurlock focuses on himself and his life are the least interesting parts of the movie. If he let his subjects--an amazing array of people from all walks of life in Afghanistan, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, and more--take center stage more often, allowing viewers to form opinions instead of making intrusive pronouncements about how Muslims are people just like us, well the movie might have been better. As it is, he is so intrusive that the movie feels overshadowed by his Michael Moore-sized ego.
6. And does anyone think that the Israel-Palestine problem can really be resolved by fifteen minutes and a journalist telling us that the answer is really as simple as magically creating two states living side by side in peace? An answer that ignores all of the complicating factors in favor of something that sounds so nice?
7. That’s not insight. That’s dumb.
8. The Soul Calibur-esque fight between Spurlock and Bin Laden was pretty funny, though, with special moves like “mustache ride!” and “turban power!”
9. Perhaps if it had been cut down to a twelve-minute segment on Celebrity Deathmatch it would have been a better film.
10. From Wesley Morris comes a good summary.
    

    purlock interviews regular Egyptians and Moroccans and Palestinians and Saudis. A group of Hassids curse and shove him. He inexplicably dons traditional Arabic garments and walks around a mall in Riyadh asking whether anybody has seen you-know-who. Spurlock and his team of collaborators never find the movie amid all their material. If he’s a questionable journalist and a poor detective, he’s an even more woeful filmmaker.
    

Ubunutu is my third favorite operating system (behind Mac OS X and the iPhone OS, which, though still a little immature, has made a real impression on me in terms of its simplicity, responsiveness, and innovative nature), which goes precisely nowhere in explaining how Mandriva has taken over the hard drive of my travel laptop.

Mandriva, which used to be Mandrake, is an older distribution and isn’t bad by any means, but it lacks some of the polish and reliability of the Ubuntu distribution that I was running for a while. I’ve had a number of hangs on startups, a few crashed applications, and one crash that forced a restart of the operating system--all things that shocked me from a mature Linux distribution. The interface (I’m running it with KDE without the more gratuitous windowing gimmicks, one of which makes the windows shake like Jell-o after moving them) is similar to Microsoft’s Windows, but it feels strangely twitchy in a way (and has some peculiarities) that Ubuntu didn’t.

Since the installed programs are similar (and in many cases identical) and each has a package manager to install any other necessary software, and since those software titles run much the same on each OS, how is it that I ended up with Mandriva instead of Ubuntu? Easy: there are some non-negotiable issues driving my choice of operating system.

With my work systems, the OS has to support all of the software in which I have invested thousands of dollars and it has to be quick and easy for me to use (which speaks more to my own preferences and biases than any native advantage to the OS itself). My work computer is fairly well limited to Mac OS X and I have no complaints about that.

The more travel I do, though, the more I realized that I didn’t want to risk the MacBook to the hazards of the longer trips. A low cost, reliable travel computer was in order and the non-negotiable issues changed significantly: the computer had to give me office applications at a low price, had to support my camera, had to be capable of recharging my iPhone and iPod, and had to support my laptop’s wireless card. It’s that wireless card that killed Ubuntu (and a number of other distributions that I preferred to Mandriva)--a card that didn’t work with any other free distribution that I tried. Out of the virtual box, Mandriva worked without having to do any extra work, a trick that I wish Ubuntu could learn.

So as I prepare to head off to India, Mandriva is being tweaked and modified to make sure that it meets all my needs and expectations.

One of the more interesting things that I’m finding as I explore the software available through Mandriva’s Install/Remove Software is that so much of the free software that is available is crap. Don’t get me wrong, there are some titles that are great (Scribus, for example, doesn’t do half the tricks that Indesign or QuarkXPress can manage, but it’s actually a really solid and flexible desktop publishing app), but much of the stuff filling the slots is rankly amateur in execution. Sometimes free is cool; sometimes free just sucks.

Why do I share this with you? Absolutely no reason whatsoever…

The end of the congressional moratorium on commercial development of oil-shale is a big win for Republicans who have made this a talking point during this election cycle, and a bigger win for Americans who want a common sense approach to energy production and development of natural resources in the United States.

A congressional moratorium blocking commercial oil- shale development expires Monday, and the Bush administration is moving quickly to script how future exploration will occur.

The Bureau of Land Management plans to issue final regulations by year’s end that will set out factors including what royalty rate companies will pay to lease federal land in Colorado, Utah and Wyoming.

Advocates of removing the ban, along with a ban on offshore oil drilling, rejoiced and declared Monday “American Energy Freedom Day.”

“It was a mistake to put the moratorium in last year, and it would be a mistake to keep it in this year,” said Republican Sen. Wayne Allard of Loveland. “The common-sense approach to ensuring Colorado’s economic future and our nation’s energy independence dictates that we safely, cleanly and efficiently explore and develop our resources.”

No one pretends that either this or expanded off shore drilling will fill all of America’s energy needs in the future, but a rational approach, to me, is a mixed approach that leverages new technologies and techniques to power our economy with everything from natural gas and clean(er) coal to oil shale and petroleum to wind and solar. And throwing in a series of nuclear power plants wouldn’t hurt my feelings, either.

The funny thing is that for this to happen, all it took was for congress to sit back and fail to act. I’m pretty sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere…

Hopefully the restrictions and lease terms put in place by the BLM won’t make it impossible for development on these new resources.

Read the story.

Sarah Palin is bringing out the very worst--the very ugliest--in people. Not liking her, not liking her politics, not wanting her to be close to the presidency are all things I understand. The political attacks on her record, on her beliefs, and on her qualifications are all fair game. That’s just the nature of politics (and if you think that ours are ugly, you should watch what British papers print about their political leaders).

But hacking email accounts, threatening her with being raped by black men if she ever comes to Manhattan (and what the fuck was up with the racist tones on that little rant?), and Andrew Sullivan’s completely insane insistance that Palin should release medical records and eye witness accounts to prove that her son is, you know, her son were all bad enough. Then there were the folks that insisted she wasn’t really a woman and, perhaps, wasn’t even human. All this animosity driven not by facts or reasonable thought, but by policy disagreements.

But, of course, all politics is personal, or so I’ve heard--and Rep. Alcee Hastings from Florida has made it about as personal as can be.

Rep. Alcee Hastings told an audience of Jewish Democrats Wednesday that they should be wary of Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin because “anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks.”

That has to win some kind of award for idiocy in this election and I’m not even sure it deserves a reasoned response. All I can cook up right now is amazement that he would even make that kind of an accusation about Palin--anti-semitism and racism because the woman is a hunter? Sure, Sandra Bernhard insinuates that all the black men in Manhattan want to rape Sarah Palin--and tell me that isn’t playing to some of the worst and most disgusting racist stereotypes--but Alcee decides to paint Palin as a racist and a Jew hater.

Something about that kind of stupidity makes me want to embrace that personal side of political engagement, too. In fact…

Fuck you, Alcee.

Now then, that feels a bit better.

Via Gateway Pundit, who has all the requisite links.

I never would have imagined that Clay Aiken was gay.

Clay Aiken appears on the cover of the latest People magazine holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: “Yes, I’m Gay.”

The 29-year-old former “American Idol” runner-up, multiplatinum recording artist and Broadway star credits his son, conceived by in-vitro fertilization with friend and producer Jaymes Foster, with making him realize that he could no longer hide his homosexuality from the world.

I mean, talk about hiding it well…

Anyway, read the story. I’m glad he’s finally found the fortitude to tell us something we already know.

I’m back from Vegas and I’m tired. Real posting resumes shortly--that is, shortly after I get through this mass of emails that piled up while I was gone.

Update: None of which changes the fact that Renee Zellweger looks a bit like hell. I’m watching Leatherheads--a lightweight movie with a few laughs but little substance--and realized that Zellweger is plain homely now. For a brief, Jerry Maguire length of time, she was utterly gorgeous. Hell, she even looked good during the first Diary of a Mildly Chubby, Neurotic Woman flick, she has a certain charm. But now her face is squintier and now she’s just funny looking.

And she was poorly cast in the reporter with moxie role--a misfortune that comes close to ruining the film.

One of us is in Vegas. And it’s probably me. Which is why this will likely be the only post from me until Wednesday--but the game was so fun that I just couldn’t help myself.

1. Predominantly orange looks kind of strange now, doesn’t it?
2. I like the “I’m a PC” ads. They own’t convert me, they won’t make me suddely believe that Vista is anything other than the abomination that it is, but the ad I saw was very nicely done. Does this spell the end of Apple’s “Mac Gently Mocks PC” ads?
3. Man, if the Broncos could find a defense, they would be monsters. Rushing three for most of the game simply doesn’t get the job done--especially when it means you’re giving a quarterback like Drew Brees a ton of time in the pocket. Yes, the D did manage a fumble recovery and a late-game third down stop that were important to the win, but they also gave up huge yards throughout the game and almost saw the win get away from them.
4. Fair is fair, though: that was a great goal line stand at the end of the first half. I can’t believe that Sean Payton ran it up the gut four times straight, but however questionable that play calling was, the Broncos answered the call with four straight, perfect stops.
5. Which was tainted a bit by the Denver offense promptly giving up the safety and the Broncos’ special teams blowing the free kick. Damage: two points for the Saints and a missed Gramatica field goal--which, I had no idea that “Gramatica - Miss” was going to be the theme of the day.
6. Is every game this year going to be this uneasy down the stretch?
7. Turnovers kill. Absolutely kill. The Broncos were lucky to get past their mistakes, weren’t they?
8. But two missed (and entirely makeable) field goals can be even worse.
9. Three wins and no losses should feel better than this, shouldn’t it? Not that I’m complaining too much: the Broncos early schedule gives way to a whole lot of road games later in the year and they’ll need to build up as much of a buffer between themselves and the Chargers as they can.
10. This team has used an entire year’s good luck to this point in the season; they need to find a way to win sans football god intervention. Right now they look like a team taht will make the playoffs, but it’s hard to imagine them winning a championship. The defense is too soft and the offense takes the kind of risks that will, sooner or later, catch up with them. But they’ll be fun as hell to watch and they might manage to set a few records along the way.

Just wondering.