resurrectionsong

July 13, 2004

Condiment Wars...Support Bush Tip #1

Forget the bumper stickers, yard signs and silly debate sound bites ("lock box") because this election is sure to be won over the battle of ketchup supremacy. Just as I was gearing up to purchase that "W" baseball cap from the NewsMax site after so many visits, today I happened upon the National Review site and discovered "W" Ketchup.

I know that I'm probably a few weeks late based on the press coverage noted at the site, but I have a more subtle strategy for the "W" ketchup brand that will count when it matters most in November. However, you must act now as it's summer and the peak BBQ season.

Here are a few ways to work in ample bottles of "W" Ketchup before November and convert swing/condiment block voters. Even portly Michael Moore couldn't resist a superdog or double cheeseburger slathered in "W" Ketchup. Enjoy these tips and share them with others:

1. Invite your neighbors to a block party featuring "W" Ketchup.
2. Hold a back to school BBQ for the hungriest of eligible voters--college students, featuring only "W" Ketchup and no mustard.
3. Smuggle "W" Ketchup bottles into professional baseball and football games and place them at all condiment stations.
4. Open hotdog cart in city serving only big Texas dogs and "W" ketchup.

Don't forget to visit the WKetchup site and read the comments posted by foul-mouthed useful idiots on the left.

Posted by Don O at July 13, 2004 02:08 PM | TrackBack

Comments

Actually, that comments section is pretty informative.

I might actually have to buy some of the stuff, although I don't usually go in for product-based political statements. I'm now actually curious as to whether their product is better than what I would normally buy.

Posted by: zombyboy at July 13, 2004 03:15 PM

George Washington's face is on the bottle, so I'm banking on the fact that it's good. Even if the Heinz heiress only owns 4% of the company, I still won't pay for their sauce. As we discussed before, I'm not a big product protestor, but Kerry is under my skin so bad that I must make this stand.

Posted by: OpinionEngine at July 13, 2004 03:39 PM

I think this quote says it all...

We point out that according to the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan campaign-finance research organization, the Democratic Party received an astonishing 92% of all individual contributions of $1 million or more during the 2001-02 election cycle. Meanwhile, the Republican Party received 64% of all individual contributions less than $200 per donor.

Posted by: Trench at July 13, 2004 04:17 PM

That one caught my eye, too. Yet, somehow, the GOP is the party that money bought. Amazing.

Posted by: zombyboy at July 13, 2004 04:32 PM

That's my point exactly. Ketchup is the people's condiment. Kerry is more like dijon. I'd like to see a Grey Poupon retake with Kerry and Heinz in the back of the campaign towncar.

Posted by: OpinionEngine at July 13, 2004 05:12 PM

I wonder if I should take this opportunity to point out that the Heinz company is backing Bush instead of the Black Widow and her hubby.

Posted by: McGehee at July 13, 2004 08:32 PM

Interestingly, McGehee pointed out exactly what I was about to comment on.

I mean, it's a cute idea and and all, but certainly does not paint an accurate picture of Heinz and who they support.

Posted by: Jo at July 14, 2004 08:21 AM

Read the comments section on their site--they address that directly. It's somewhere in the middle of them being yelled at pretty stridently.

Posted by: zombyboy at July 14, 2004 09:51 AM