SJ, don't you mean, you want the passive voice to be used far less often...? [grin]

I'm going to try to think of this in a constructive way--not in the evil, opportunistic, and cruel way that I would normally attack the subject. Heheh.

Just kidding.

Truth is, I think you write extremely well in an academic sense. You explain issues thoroughly, you are detailed, and you describe the things you discuss very well. Your technical writing, in particular, is excellent.

The only thing that you do (and have always done--and so do I, so it's the proverbial pot/kettle issue) is make some stories longer than they need to be. If you learn to self-edit to remove the extraneous stuff, you'll probably find that the passive voice problems almost disappear.

I know this wasn't a call for us to critique you right now, but I think that's the basic issue. When you write, I'll send you (privately) further thoughts.

As for everyone else: he is serious, and he takes criticism (especially when he's asked for it) well.

Nathan: The funniest thing about your joke is that I originally wrote the sentence that way!

Z: Thanks for the kind words. When it comes to making stories too long I'm much worse than you are. One of the reasons that I included both active voice and being concise in my goal is that I have noriced the same correlation that you mentioned.

If I may offer a perspective (don't judge me by my blog, I get paid to write, my blog I do for free) ... and remember, your mileage may vary on any of writing suggestions.

As Zombyboy said, self-editing is the key here. What you want to achieve is a point where you can read your own copy as if it were someone else's. Being concise, IMHO, is almost always an editing function. So just crank out what you want to write, and then clear out the clutter from there.

Many of us write this way: Crank out what you want to say, not worrying about grammar or style or niceties. Figure out the one idea you're really driving at. Remove everything that doesn't move you toward that goal. Then hone, polish, etc.

Hope that helps. BTW, I think you do find as far as writing. So good luck & up & atom.

Good for you! One of the many reasons why I blog is that it helps my writing skills. Asking readers to critique your skills should provide even more help. And it shows great courage on your part ;-)

IB Bill: Thanks for the compliment. I like your suggestion about cranking out my ideas and then revising afterwards. Normally I create and revise (often multiple times) and outline first and then write. Since I've already worked out my ideas I then edit as I go, trying to get every paragraph perfect before moving on to the next. I will probably still outline but I'm going to try to write through it first and then go back and try to clean it up. I think that might work well for me.

AQ: Thanks for saying that my request takes courage. Honestly, I don't think that it is as courageous for me as it might be for others. I don't take blogging very seriously, which is why I post to a friend's blog. Since I invest very little emotion in the blog I have nothing to lose by being told that I've made mistakes.